Why do guys want a lover to swallow?

Q:My partner wants me to swallow when I give him oral sex. What's the appeal?
A: Some guys are very adamant about wanting their partners to swallow their ejaculate. Other guys just want their partner to do exactly what makes them feel most comfortable, swallow or not. And then other guys aren't into seeing their partners swallow at all.

Guys who do like it say it’s because it means they can orgasm during oral sex without having to interrupt the experience by warning a partner. Warning a partner of impending ejaculation can sometimes inhibit their orgasm or slow it down.

Other guys report that they love the note of acceptance in the moment, the fact that you are taking a part of them deep inside you. You are so attracted to them that you choose to ingest them as opposed to spitting or avoiding. The flip side of this want is that some guys will actually feel rejected or somehow gross in your eyes when you avoid their ejaculate.

The act of swallowing itself may feel good to him. He may feel your throat contract and release on the very sensitive head of his penis.

And finally, some men say they feel like a partner who swallows is an eager partner who loves oral sex, and that excites them.

I say do what you love to do. If you love to swallow, then so be it. If you hate it then don’t do it. There is a subtle (or sometimes not-so-subtle) exchange that happens when you do something you don’t want to do. This is why it’s important to do what you love and be honest about what you don’t like.

If you do swallow, please know that putting your mouth on a penis and ingesting ejaculate is not safe sex. There is a risk you take with every sexual exchange and with oral sex, you risk contracting herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2), HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea and viral hepatitis. Good, nice, kind, sweet, honest, beautiful people get sexually transmitted infections every day. You can’t look at a lover and know if they have an STI or not. Know your risks.

Talk to your lovers. Get tested. It’s easier than you might think.

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Written by Ducky Doolittle
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Ducky DooLittle is a pleasure-based sex educator and the resident sex toy expert for Blush Novelties and Sola. She also leads the marketing team, does some sex toy design work, tests prototypes and brings pleasure to the world! She's also a certified Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Counselor and the author of "Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered." Ducky has appeared in the New York Times, HBO's "Real Sex", "The Morning Show", MTV, NPR, "The Howard Stern Show" and Playboy TV.

She loves to bake, cook, garden, make things and write.


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