My wife and I would like to try sex toys. What would you recommend?

Karen Washington
Profile Picture of Karen Washington Karen Washington is a graduate of the Adler School of Professional Psychology with a masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is an aspiring sex therapist, with a foundation in communication and self esteem. She has conducted research on communication, dating dynamics, and infertility counseling. Karen firmly believes in presenting education and information through the lens of humor, especially when it comes to sex.  Full Bio
Q:My wife and I would like to start experimenting with sex toys. We are new to this, and I feel uncomfortable asking the salespeople for help. Do you have any recommendations?


A: Experimenting with sex toys can be a wonderful way to spice things up in the bedroom. Perhaps you've never used toys together, but have either of you ever used them before, either individually or in other relationships? Are there any toys that you've heard about that have piqued your interest? If one of you has had previous experience with a particular toy, teaching the other to use it can be fun and serve as foreplay.

For starters, I would advise you to find a sex toy store in your area that you and your wife can visit together. Going to an actual store will give you a realistic overview of what you are looking at. Browse the store together. See what strikes each of your fancies and discuss what you might be willing to try, although starting out small and basic might be a good idea. That way, if the toy you choose doesn't work for the two of you, you haven't made an extravagant monetary investment. If going to the store is too overwhelming, you could also browse some online stores. Sex toy reviews can be helpful as well.

It's important that both you and your partner are on board with the toy you choose. It might be a good idea to each pick a toy that interests you, and bring home two, providing that it is financially feasible.

While you're at the store, make sure to inquire about the care of the toy and any potential factors to be aware of. Most toy brands have a recommended cleanser that is compatible with the toy’s makeup; check out the packaging for this info or ask a salesperson where to find the cleansers. Toys can sometimes be cleaned with a basic antibacterial soap. Also, if the toy requires batteries, ask whether they are included or if they need to be purchased. You could also request a basic demonstration on turning the toy on and off, if your toy has battery-operated functions.

Lastly, don't be afraid of the salespeople at the sex toy store as they can be an excellent resource. From my experience, sex toy salespeople can be very helpful and accomodating and are often experts on the products they carry. For example, there’s a store in my neighborhood that offers all sorts of information as well as demonstration models on the floor that you can touch and play with. Before you leave, you can ask the salesperson to give you a brief demo and a rundown of battery placement and type, as well as several cleansers appropriate for keeping your toy clean and in good condition.



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