How can I find a partner who is as kinky as I am?

Cara Sutra
Profile Picture of Cara Sutra Cara Sutra writes at her own sexuality magazine, carasutra.co.uk as well as acting as professional copywriter for many high-profile adult industry publications, both online and in print. Her magazine style website is a combination of her personal sex blog, sex, relationship and fetish advice articles, erotic fiction, sex industry news as well as a large number of adult product and sex toy reviews.  Full Bio
Q:

How can I find a partner who is as kinky as I am?

A: Compatibility in relationships is an important issue, and for those with an interest in kink and BDSM there can be an even greater pressure to find someone you connect with in all areas of life. First, decide what you want from the relationship. Do you want to find a kinky life partner, or a more casual play partner to experiment with?

Just as with mainstream dating, there are specific ways to meet up with people who have similar interests in kink. Online resources are a good place to start. Fetish websites and BDSM forums often have adult-dating-style search tools to help you meet your perfect kinky match, and chatting with people online first, before a face-to-face meeting, takes away a little of the natural reticence to speak about such personal, intimate matters with a stranger.

You can get involved with BDSM conversations on social media by linking in with kinky hashtags on Twitter. There are also various Facebook pages dedicated to different kinks and fetishes, to suit your interests. You may wish to open a separate, more anonymous Facebook account for this purpose, rather than using the same account you use to communicate with family and friends.

The internet is a great place to start exploring, but nothing can beat (excuse the pun) the impressions made by a real life, face-to-face meeting. Attending a BDSM munch is a great way to meet people who are interested in BDSM, while fetish workshops enable you to learn more about your specific kink while making new connections.

As with all relationships, flexibility is key. Demanding a perfect match is unrealistic; instead, aim for fun and mutual understanding. If you keep an open mind while searching for a kinky partner, the process itself can be a huge part of the fun!

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