Kegel balls don't arouse me. What am I doing wrong?


I bought a pair of Kegel balls and they do nothing for me. I thought the jiggling inside me would be a turn on, but I can’t even feel it. What am I doing wrong?


You aren’t doing anything wrong because Kegel balls don’t work the way you’ve likely been lead to believe.

The Fifty Shades of Grey franchise may be partially to blame for the false notion that Kegel balls are sex toys that give immediate gratification to everyone who inserts them into their vagina. After the public got wind of the scene in the book where Anastasia Steele had earth shattering orgasms from being spanked while using Kegel balls, they quickly began flying off store shelves. Some reports claim sales of the item increased by as much as 400%.

Although Kegel balls can make sex better and orgasms stronger, it’s rare a user feels immediate gratification from wearing them. They are meant to aid in a continuing pelvic floor muscle exercise regimen. A strong pelvic floor can make orgasms more intense and more frequent, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Think of doing Kegel exercises as resistance training. The Kegel ball set is like a bar bell that helps make your training more effective. In other words, for most people, they’re more of a long-term tool and less of a sex toy.

While it’s true some people can feel the balls inside of them, the vast majority don’t. It’s similar to wearing a tampon. Once it’s in, it’s difficult to tell it’s there. If you can tell it’s there, it usually isn’t a turn-on. Even if you can’t feel the jiggling inside you, your pelvic floor muscles can. This jiggling is what encourages those muscles to contract and release so slightly that you likely can’t even tell it’s happening. Over time, and I’m talking a number of weeks of repeated use for a few minutes each day, those contractions strengthen your pelvic floor. This means when you do have sex, those stronger pelvic floor muscles will help make your sexual experience more enjoyable.

If you are looking for a toy to give you instant sexual gratification while you are wearing it, try a vibrating remote control egg or motorized vibrating Kegel balls. While those types of toys may not always encourage your pelvic floor muscles to contract as much as traditional Kegel balls would, you are more likely to find them sexually satisfying while they are inside you.

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Written by Sunny Megatron
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Sunny Megatron is a sexuality educator, sex and relationship writer, media personality, Youtuber, and sex toy expert. She co-hosts and produces the American Sex Podcast and also is also the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron. Her work has been featured in Cosmo, Playboy, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, CNN, Refinery29, Playgirl Magazine, and more. A three-time nominee for XBIZ Sexpert of the Year, she’s also been one of Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superheroes for 4 years running and was given a Kinkly Reader’s Choice award in 2015. Sunny’s passion is helping people become their authentic, sexual selves by learning to overcome shame and shed inhibitions.


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