I need a lube that won't get sticky. What do you suggest?


I'm looking for a universal lube suitable for hetero intercourse (without condoms), hetero mutual masturbation, hetero mutual oral sex, and solo male masturbation. Everything we have tried doesn't last long enough. It gets sticky instead of slippery. What do you suggest?


If the lubes you’re routinely using get sticky and dry up, it sounds like you’ve been using water based lubricants. Even the best quality water based lubes will eventually dry up as the water in them evaporates-- it’s simply the nature of the beast.

How to Minimize the Stickiness of Water Based Lube

It seems logical to add more lube because what you are using dissipates. This can actually make the problem worse by causing it to gum up even faster. Keep a glass of water by the bed and add it as needed to revitalize your water based lube as it dries up. The addition of water won’t keep your lube from eventually drying out, but it will lengthen the amount of time it takes before it gets excessively sticky.

It sounds like you want to completely avoid dried up, sticky situations. For that, I suggest using either silicone lube or coconut oil.

Silicone Lube

Silicone based lubricants contain no water. So, they never dry up. They have a slick feel that’s long lasting, and are safe to use with latex condoms. Silicone lubes aren’t absorbed by the skin. They require a soap and water to be completely removed from the body. Because silicone doesn't wash away with plain water, it’s the perfect lubricant for shower, pool, or hot tub sex. The price of silicone lube is higher than water based, but because a little goes a very long way, you’ll use a lot less and one bottle will last you much longer.

Some silicone lubes are known to stain fabrics. That is something to keep in mind if you plan on having a romp on top of your fancy duvet. Another downside of silicone lubricant is that it can sometimes react negatively with silicone sex toys and damage them. As a general rule of thumb, most toy manufacturers recommend never using silicone lube with silicone toys. Although some silicone toy and silicone lube combinations work perfectly well together, the only way to find out is to experiment, which may put your toys at risk.

Coconut Oil

Organic, unrefined (labeled as virgin or extra virgin) coconut oil is quickly becoming a favorite lubricant of many. Just like other oil based lubes, it breaks down latex and polyisoprene. It’s a no-no for those that use condoms made from those materials. It is compatible with polyurethane condoms. It also can react negatively with sex toys made from cheaper, porous materials like latex, rubber, TPE/TPR, or jelly.

The good news is, unlike other oil based lubes, it’s generally friendly to vulvas and vaginas. Although there hasn’t been much formal research dedicated to studying the benefits of coconut oil as sexual lubricant, it's antifungal, antibacterial, and anti-inflammatory properties may actually help prevent yeast infections. One downside is it may clog pores in those who are already susceptible to that condition.

Coconut oil is easy to find at most grocery stores and is relatively inexpensive. It also tastes great and can be used as many other things from skin moisturizer to cooking oil. Most importantly, it’s slick, smooth, and won’t get gummy like water based lubes.

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Written by Sunny Megatron
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Sunny Megatron is a sexuality educator, sex and relationship writer, media personality, Youtuber, and sex toy expert. She co-hosts and produces the American Sex Podcast and also is also the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron. Her work has been featured in Cosmo, Playboy, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, CNN, Refinery29, Playgirl Magazine, and more. A three-time nominee for XBIZ Sexpert of the Year, she’s also been one of Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superheroes for 4 years running and was given a Kinkly Reader’s Choice award in 2015. Sunny’s passion is helping people become their authentic, sexual selves by learning to overcome shame and shed inhibitions.

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