In sex ed, most of us got a condom demonstration and some scare tactics on sexually transmitted infections. We are left with little to no insight into the uses of lubrication, how to actually have sex, or the experience of orgasm.
In other words, we were quite literally taught to think about sex only in terms of mitigating risk - not in terms of pleasure. Thus, we’re left to our own devices, floundering on google searches or studying rom coms in hopes of learning what we actually want to know: how can we have great sex?
This is the question most of us have on our minds, but often don’t dare to ask. In one way or another, we have all bought into the lie that safe sex is good-enough sex. And if we’re having good-enough sex, who are we to want great sex?
We bring this mythology about good-enough sex into our relationship with lube. Perhaps we think about lube as a last resort, only to be sought out if there’s sexual pain. Or maybe we think of lube as worthwhile only when absolutely necessary, like when we’re having anal sex or using a toy.
Far too often, our lube sits lonely in our bedside tables, only to be acknowledged when we run out of other ideas. We forget that lube can be so much more than a last resort.
So, let’s put a new shine on lube. Check out these seven ways to bring lube into your solo sex life!
1. Use It on Different Body Parts
It is perfectly natural to think of lube only in the context of your most friction-gathering parts. It is the lotion that makes the motion, after all. More often than not, you’re going to put lube on your vulva or penis or in and around your vagina and anus.
However, don’t discount the possibility of applying lube to a wide variety of other body bits to enhance sensation during masturbation. Think about your most sensitive areas, such as your nipples, inner elbows and knees and armpits. Now, imagine them slick with lube and your fingers dancing in that slickness.
Yes, it's as fun as it sounds.
2. Explore Different Lube Sensations
We are often told that variety is the spice of life. If you’re looking to spice up your solo sex life, exploring different types of lube is a great way to add new flavors. You can discover the differences between water-based and silicone. You can enjoy temperature differences with heating and cooling lubes. There are different scents, lubes with flavor and more!
Masturbation offers a great opportunity to expand your playful palate.
3. Add Lube to Sex Toys
This suggestion might seem a little self-evident, but sometimes we set our minds to masturbatory mmmm and we just reach over for our favorite toy. Some toys definitely require lube, but others can be used without. The dry approach can still feel great, but if you add some lube, the sensations can be off the hook! With vibrators in particular, the lube can amplify the intensity of the vibration.
4. Breath of Fresh Air
Who’d have ever thought we’d be discussing a fan as a sex device? No no, we’re not advising you get anywhere near it, we’re just going to use a delicate breeze in masturbation! The simple sensation of blowing air on your lubed up bits can be a great start/stop technique if you’re looking to last longer or edge during masturbation. You can have the fan blowing up between your legs with a light breeze throughout and then just stop when you want. Or you can pleasure yourself for a bit, stop and turn on the fan.
5. Big Dump or Little Tease?
Now, this suggestion will definitely appeal to some folks and maybe not so much others. It all depends on whether you enjoy your solo sex on the sloppy side. One of the ways you can explore the many possibilities lube can amplify your alone time is by changing up how much lube you use when you masturbate.
All too often, we’ll just go for the amount that will get the job done. What if you try using an excessive amount of lube? Your hands and toys will be slipping and sliding and the messiness can be really hot.
On the other hand (possibly, literally), adding just a small amount of lube - a small sheen - can provide a light yet slick touch for teasing. Either way, keep a towel or damp cloth handy.
6. Try CBD Lube
The sex product business is booming! There are so many different vibes, dildos, strokers, eggs and more that will curl your toes when you’re spending sexytime with your body. And keeping up the pace are the many different variety of lubes available.
A CBD lube, such as Out & About CBD Personal Lubricant, has the added benefit of increasing blood flow to our genitals, a process that is essential in creating optimal conditions for arousal, lubrication, sensitivity and orgasm. CBD lube can also increase sensitivity while reducing inflammation during sex, to promote pleasure while decreasing pain.
If you go for water-based CBD lube, you'll get less stickiness and more silkyness and it will also being compatible with condoms and toys!
7. Make a Sex Nerd Spreadsheet of Your Faves and Misses
Some people really get off on being a sex nerd. Have some fun with yourself, enjoy some sexy solo time and then mark the results in a spreadsheet. Graph it, chart it, document it...oh my.
For sure, experimenting with different ways to incorporate lube into your masturbation is definitely worthy of some deep-diving research and delicious documentation.
When we shift our relationship with lube, we change our relationship with pleasure. We stop settling, and begin to internallize the truth that we are deserving of great sex - not just sex that isn’t painful or uncomfortable.
Thinking of incorporating CBD lube into your sex life? Use the code KINKLY10 for 10% off Out & About’s lube, massage oil, energy drinks, and more! Plus, Out & About will be giving a free Energy Drink sample with all orders exclusively for the Kinkly audience!
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