BDSM 101

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Conclusion

There's a lot of information to take in about BDSM whether you're into light spankings or full-­on leather gear, whips, and chains. There are only a few true rules in BDSM:

  • Consent is everything. Without consent, it's not BDSM or kinky; ­ it's abuse.
  • BDSM requires open and honest communication or it won't work.
  • Be safe and understand the risks when you try new things.
  • There is no one right way to do BDSM. Everyone has different tastes and wants something different.
Let's recap a bit of what you've learned and read:


  • Sex is not a requirement in BDSM.
  • You can be a top, a bottom, or a switch. This can change with different partners.
  • Dominance and submission (D/s) is a relationship status within BDSM ­ sexual or not.
  • You can reserve BDSM for the bedroom only or, as with D/s, make it a part of your daily life.
  • The kinks you like today may be different over time.
  • Everyone should have a safe word to use ­ at least in the beginning.
  • All BDSM activities are on a spectrum from light to heavy, and all are legitimate acts of BDSM.
If you remember nothing else, always remember this: your kink isn't my kink, but your kink is OK.

What consenting adults do with and to each other is between them alone, and doesn't affect your kinky play. Do what you enjoy, always remember the rules, and figure out who you are and what you like in the big, fun, and kinky world of BDSM.



Written by Kayla Lords
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Professional writer, sex blogger, erotic author, sexual submissive, and kinkster, Kayla writes more than is probably healthy over at A Sexual Being and overshares about the kinky and mundane side of her BDSM relationship. Her mission: to make BDSM, specifically Dominance and submission, less scary, less weird, and much more real and attainable for anyone willing to learn more.

 

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