Sex Stories We Love: What the Twerk, Dangling Dildos, and Trump Your Tush

I had this week’s Sex Stories We Love all planned out with a plethora of sex toy stories that have taken over the web recently, but I have to give a great big shout out to another story that is very important.

Git Along All You Slut Shamers

The Calgary Stampede is an annual event here in Canada. It's a 10-day festival of cowboy culture that has a whole host of issues - with sex added to the menu this year. It seems a few friends, one woman and two men, decided to partake in a public threesome in a pretty secluded industrial area. Thing is, someone saw, recorded it, and posted it on Reddit. And ... let the slut shaming ensue. Of course, none of this was aimed at the fellas ... just the woman, and she responded with a fantastic video.

She owns her experience. She understands the situation. She has a wonderfully healthy attitude about sex. This is the type of statement that will help other women deal with assholes who try to shame or humiliate them when it comes to sex.

Now, on to the sex toys!

What the Twerk?

In the “Just who was waiting for this?” department, the new Twerking Butt toy has taken the Internet by storm. It is, well, a jiggling ass that offer different vibrations, synthetic body heat, and Cyberskin for a great feel. Yet, I have to wonder one thing about this butt: is the product culturally diverse? If you watch the video, silly as it is, it is somewhat telling about our attitudes about ideal sexuality. The only Twerking Butt I saw was white-skinned. Hey, isn't twerking historically associated with black women? The toy seems both a cultural appropriation and a racially-charged indicator that black skin is not desired in sexual products. Sure, there are some toys out there of non-white skin tone, but it is, sadly, not the norm.

Rear-ending Rabbit

Masturbating in public is a thing. In some ways, it is a creepy, inappropriate thing. In other ways, it is a hot and sexy thing. There’s a lot of room for interpretation and debate on public masturbation. One thing nobody is going to argue is that trying to get off with a rabbit vibrator while driving is stupid and dangerous.

More and more jurisdictions are enacting laws against distracted driving with the focus on cell phone use. Would you want to be the first person appearing in court charged with distracted driving because you were using a sex toy? And, personally speaking, this incident falls into the creepy, inappropriate area. Usually, creepy public masturbation is about subjecting others to your sexual fantasy without their consent. In this instance, it was creepy because people could have been hurt!

Dangling Dildos

What the heck is going on in Portland? Why are there hundreds of dildos hanging from power lines?

Seriously!

Could this be some form of art project in the ultra-cool Northwest? Are they a sign of affection like locks on a bridge? Where did all of these dongs have come from?

Regardless what is going on, I’m all for spreading sex products in public space. People still have a big fear of sex products, shying their eyes away and avoiding those stores that carry them. Now that someone is putting these dildos out there for everyone to see, those who are fearful can take a peek and question their own thoughts while observing the reactions of others. I am still curious about this whole thing, though....

Trump Your Tush

Now, for one of the most brilliant pervy, political points I’ve seen in a long time: the Donald Trump Butt Plug! Inspired by the wannabe presidential candidate’s now infamous comments about Mexican immigrants, artist Fernando Sosa’s hilarious “sex toys” are a fantastic response to the drizzling shits that seem to fall out of The Donald’s mouth on the daily. Now, I’m sure that I don't know anyone who has any desire to use an effigy of Trump as a sex toy. Even if it does involve sticking him up your butt. Really, when it comes to discussing anal, we try to downplay the feces aspect. But with Donald Trump stuck up your bum, this is impossible discussion to avoid.

Rule 34a: Sex Toys Sub-clause

Infamous Internet Rule 34 states that anything at all conceivable has been turned into porn online. If you can think it, it is porn. Well, I propose a sub-clause to Rule 34 that states if you can think it up, then it is now a sex toy. There are so many esoteric themes for sex toys now! No judgement at all on any of these...if it gets you off and doesn’t hurt others, then enjoy! Yet, I will admit to popping my eyebrows more than once to the thought of clown dildos, vagina/foot mash-ups, and sexual spelunking periscopes. Mostly because two eyebrows then settled into one cocked one and I wondered... This is the golden age of sexual stuff, folks!