I was shopping for a new toy the other day and I found the most wonderful thing: A thrusting vibrator! Why so wonderful you ask? Well, my husband is away and I am very, very lazy! Of course the idea that a sex toy can somehow replace a skin-and-bone partner is a real fear for some people, particularly men. After all, if a toy can truly satisfy, what do you need a partner for? So, I went on a mission to find out whether a toy really can do the trick, if only for a few days.

Read: Vibrators - The Ultimate Guide to Buying, Owning and Using a Vibe

My Weapon of Choice

I’ve chosen this Rabbit Thruster 7 Function Waterproof Vibrator for my little experiment. It's got a lot of bells and whistles but to be honest, I’m not really interested in the lovely vibrating bunny; what I’m really interested is the shaft! I have vibrators galore, but I'm looking for something different.




Hello, good looking ...


The Thrust of the Issue

Before even thinking about how lazy I can be with this vibe, I need to find out if it works. First, let's get to what's important: It doesn't exactly feel like penetrative sex. The thrusting action works, but it doesn’t give you the satisfaction you get from a good old, steamy session. Not even close.



My particular vibrator had speed controls, which helped recreate sex, but it seems to be missing something ... a heart and a brain perhaps? Normally during sex you can talk to your partner and figure out your rhythm together. On its own, this toy's in-and-out feels empty and mechanical. All the right parts are there but together they don’t always amount to much.

I'm Lazy and I Know It

Part of the reason why I bought this toy was out of laziness, so I decided to try the vibrator with just the thrusting function. I wanted to know if I could just lie there and take it. My answer is ... sort of. The sensation is fine, although it does feel a bit mechanical, but it just gets kind of boring after a while. There is no variety, and certainly not enough to get me to the big O.



Not done yet, I tried a different approach by clenching my pelvic floor muscles together. It does make the action feel much stronger and a bit more realistic but sadly still no orgasm!

The Little Vibe That Almost Could ... Almost

I tried this vibe several more times over a couple of weeks because I feel that it takes time to get used to what it does and how it does it. I got there eventually and managed to squeeze some pleasure out of this toy, but it was altogether too much work. A few times I had to stop completely because I had lost all sensitivity. Even so, I’d really like to try some other thrusting rabbits to get a more even view of the market. I have my eye on the Deluxe Ultra Thruster Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator, which looks like it packs more of a punch in terms of power at the shaft because of its ridges. My vibrator had shifting and rotating beads inside, which I felt was responsible for this toy's lack of oomph. (On the lookout for a new toy yourself? Check out Tips on Buying Your First Vibrator.)


It Sings, It Dances but It Isn't Sex

OK, so I didn't really think this battery-powered hunk of silicone would replace my man, but what I've learned is that it isn't even a reasonable substitute when I can't get the real thing. An all-singing, all-dancing toy is just that. It isn't a replacement for anything. I missed the heat of sex and the feel of someone there with me. I also missed the conversation that goes with sex, the changes in pace, the surprises. Sex toys are good, but even the ones that aim to imitate sex are nowhere near as good as the real thing. As for being lazy, well, a good orgasm is definitely worth working for.