Ah the Grafenberg spot or, more commonly the the "G-spot." It's a confounding mystery for some and an enticing adventure for others. Although you may have heard otherwise, many women report that it does exist and can be the originator of intense and pleasurable orgasms, perhaps even the best you've ever had. It does, however, take a little more skill and knowledge to stimulate it.
So where is it? And, assuming yours is undiscovered, how can you find it? So many questions. Don't worry, I've got the answers.
Where is the G-Spot?
The G-Spot is located approximately one to three inches inside the anterior wall of the vagina toward your pubic bone and just in front of the cervix.
How do I find it?
The G-Spot is composed of erectile tissue and swells when aroused; therefore, it is easiest to find when you are sexually stimulated. Begin by sliding one or two fingers inside your vagina about as far as you comfortably can. Bend the fingers a bit in a "come hither" motion so that they are now touching the anterior wall of your vagina. You should feel a puffy patch of tissue right around there. It's a little rougher than the rest, and is approximately the size of a small walnut. This is the G-spot. (Read more about women's unique and interesting anatomy in 10 Things You Didn't Know About Vaginas.)
The G-spot gets a lot of press for being an explosive sexual area. That's often true, but not for everyone. It’s important to note that not all women find this area erotically pleasurable; in fact, some find stimulation here uncomfortable. This is completely natural. The sensitivity of your G-Spot has a lot to do with your individual body structure, the thickness of your vaginal walls, other physiological differences and even sometimes your age. In fact, some women report intense G-spot orgasms in their 40s, even though they didn't have them in their younger years, or only found them mildly pleasurable. There are also women who don’t find their G-spot an erotically sensitive spot at all. If, for some reason, this happens to be you, don’t fret; there are plenty of other parts of your body that will be ripe for pleasure. (Want to find them? Start at The 6 Most Underrated Erogenous Zones.)
After you have found your G-spot, congratulate yourself: you're halfway there! That spongy mound that you’ve found is ripe for stimulation. There are tons of toys on the market that are designed to help here, and are curved or angled in a way to make it easier to reach your G-spot - and make it sing. Use your fingers, your partner or even a toy to press and rub this spot with strong, steady thrusts. Firm pressure and consistent movement on the G-spot is recommended, but be open to what feels best to you and go from there - everyone is different.
Because the location of the G-spot is very close to the urethra, stimulating it might make you feel like you have to pee. Don't worry, you won't. Although some women do ejaculate fluid from their urethras upon orgasming (or sometimes just by being very aroused) this liquid isn't urine ... exactly. Female ejaculate is a clearish fluid that some researchers believe comes from the bladder (Schubach, 2001) but more studies need to be conducted. Those same researchers have found that while there is a small amount of uric acid in female ejaculate (along with some prostatic fluid and some enzymes that are actually found in semen) it is not 100 percent urine. In fact, this should make you feel better: It's physically impossible to pee and ejaculate fluid at the same time, so relax your PC muscles and enjoy the ride!
Because most of the data we have on the G-spot is mainly from self-reported accounts, we know that all women are fantastically different and dynamic. For some, the G-spot can produce the most intense, deep orgasm they’ve ever had. For others, it’s a wonderful addition to a bevy of various orgasms they are capable of. For some, it could even be a big nothing. It doesn't really matter which category you fall into - exploring your body is half the fun. Spend some quality time alone finding out what makes you feel good, and consider buying a toy made to hit the G-spot. I recommend one vibrates to really get some sensation going. If you want to stimulate your G-spot during intercourse, try a rear-entry position like doggy-style. No matter what method you try, make certain you start with one you are comfortable with. Just remember that it's best to get quite aroused before you bring the G-spot in on the action. (Get more rear-entry positions from our Position Playlist.)
If you’re having trouble relaxing through the process, try using a vibrator on your clitoris at the same time. Having all those nerves fired up at once might be just the coaxing you need to make your G-spot come alive. If you are exploring with a partner, it might be a good idea to ask them to make you orgasm clitorally first and then try the G-spot stimulation.
However you decide to go about it, the magic word is "relax." For some women, experiencing a G-spot orgasm can take time. Your body has to warm up to a different type of erotic pleasure. So be gentle, be loving and have fun with it. That way, G-spot orgasm or not, your play will always have a happy ending.