A smack on your ass while you're getting down and dirty is hot, right? A little bit of teacher/naughty student role play is kinky and means you're sure to get a spanking. There is so much more to spankings than the typical slap and tickle during sex. This might surprise you, but some people even find them therapeutic. And yes, it's possible to enjoy, want, or need all types of spankings as part of a healthy relationship.

Full disclosure: I'm a big ol' spanko who would gladly take a spanking every day if I could. My poor partner's hands and toys can't always keep up with the demand. Even when it's not the good kind of hurt, I still enjoy what spankings do for my mind, body, and soul. To say I'm biased about spankings is an understatement.

Spanking as 'Funishment'

Is it really a punishment if you enjoyed it? Nope. Instead, it's "funishment." You know, a punishment that's fun (or not really a punishment at all). Whether you're just a little kinky or you're a full on brat submissive in a Dominance and submission (D/s) relationship, behaving badly specifically for a spanking only takes away some of the sting. (Ha! See what I did there?)

Funishment spankings seem to be the most "acceptable" form for many venturing into a bit of kink. The person who wants the spanking behaves "badly," perhaps by saying playfully rude things, forgetting to do what they're asked, sticking out their tongue, or whatever it takes in order to get a spanking. There's a bit of role play involved because one person pretends to be mad, and the other pretends to be upset about the spanking. At the end of it all, everyone's happy with the red ass.

Punishment Spankings

Spankings as actual punishment are more common in D/s or domestic discipline relationships. A rule is broken, a task forgotten, and the consequence is a sharp, painful, and unpleasant spanking. Before you worry that a punishment spanking might come out of nowhere the first time you play around with kink, remember that all aspects of D/s and other types of power exchange relationships must be discussed and agreed upon. A submissive or bottom knows punishments are part of the package when they enter the relationship. If pain or spankings are a hard limit of yours, your Dominant should respect that. For the rest of you? It could be fair game.

Spankings as punishment work best on those who really don't like pain. I'm a masochist who gets off on spankings. No matter how bad the spanking is, on some level I'm probably going to enjoy it. For people like me, the real punishment is to be denied a spanking. (It burns more than you know.)

Therapy Spankings

Sometimes referred to as maintenance spankings, spankings as therapy are used in D/s and other types of power exchange relationships (whether long term or temporary arrangements) as a release for the submissive or bottom. (Hehehe...bottom!) Whether it's the pain itself or the impact on the body and mind, many people who want and need these types of spankings find themselves in a better frame of mind or more able to handle their emotions once the spanking is over. A top or Dominant will often give a spanking until they see tears or a safeword is used. There are no hard and fast rules about how long it can or should last.

I have asked for plenty of therapy spankings in my relationship, outright and through code. My Dominant and I have a signal we use. When I tell him that my "skin feels too tight" he knows that I'm no longer calm, centered, and able to handle my own daily stress. The pain from a good, hard spanking, whether it reduces me to tears or not, is cleansing, and I'm better able to talk about what's really on my mind. Sometimes, I don't even care about it anymore because the spanking released all my tension.

Don't Forget the Aftercare

Whether a spanking is fun, punishment, or therapy, never forget aftercare. Soothing lotion, a blanket, a sip of water, and a cuddle are good for everyone involved. Tops and Dominants should check in and discuss how the submissive is feeling both physically and emotionally. If your spanking session leads to crazy, freaky, kinky hot sex, the aftercare can wait until you're done, but always check in with your partner at some point. Spankings might cause redness, bruises, and tenderness. If you're like me, you love that part, but not everyone does; and a little tender, loving care might be needed later.

If you're interested in or enjoy spankings, feel free to experiment. Talk with your partner and let them know how you feel and what you'd like to try. If you're the one doing the spanking, it's OK to ask your partner how they're feeling or ask for a color to gauge how much more they can take. Green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. Feel free to experiment and find what works for you. Not all spankings are equal, and you might be surprised at what they can do for you and your relationship.