SEXUAL HEALTH

Sex Stories We Love: To Blow or Not to Blow, Porn to Avoid, and the Dry Spell Opportunity

by JON PRESSICK

Published: MARCH 31, 2015 | Updated: FEBRUARY 14, 2022 10:16:56

Sometimes the most interesting stories about sex are those about not having sex. Be it a dry spell, medical concerns, personal choice, or something else entirely, not having sex can greatly affect us.

The Other Bed Fun

We’ve long known that a key to keeping and maintaining a positive sex life is working on your own health. Eat right, exercise and learn about your body. All of these things can help keep your libido high and keep you happy. However, one thing, in our busy worlds and times, that we often forget is the importance that good sleep habits have on your sex life. A recent study, which is by no means exhaustive but still indicative, tracked the sleep and sex of a sample of people to note any correlations. If you get more and get better sleep, you are more likely to have better sex. This might seem obvious. We tend to do most things better when we’re well rested. Yet, it can be quite challenging to ensure that balance. Trust me, you really don’t want to fall asleep during sex ... it won't go over well with your partner.

To Blow or Not to Blow...
Sexual understanding is not a cut-and-dried thing. This short essay on why a woman doesn’t give blowjobs is fascinating because it will be read in so many different ways. As Alison Stevenson notes, some will read it as an anti-cock diatribe. Some will think of her as damaged by past unsatisfying sexual experiences. Others will just brush her concerns off and say, “Well, she just hasn’t found the right dick to eat.” Personally, I just think she’s thought about it, thought about her past, her interests, and her own ability to achieve sexual satisfaction before she determined that a penis in her mouth just doesn’t interest her. More people need to realize this sort of self-actualization in their sex lives.

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Porn to Avoid
What happens when you mix porn and politics? OK, maybe not politics, but porn and personal vendettas that may or may not be justified, but certainly do come across as a screeching ‘look at me!’ occurrence? This, it seems, is what you’re going to get when you take a gander at the latest celebrity sex tape from Randy Quaid. For the past few years, Quaid has popped up now and again with bizarre behavior and rants - particularly against Rupert Murdoch. Not surprisingly, he included shots at Murdoch in his sex tape with his wife. I couldn’t imagine watching this. Fortunately, you don’t have to, either. The very brave Tracy Clark-Flory has watched and recapped the bearded bellyacher for us.

Let’s Just ... No
While I don’t want to watch Randy Quaid fuck, I do very much enjoy porn. Really, I can’t imagine my life without it. So imagine my horror, that quickly turned to tears of laughter, upon discovering this hilarious video imagining Life Without Porn. The VHS look of it is particularly awesome.Could strip clubs ever disappear? Sure, porn is a pretty ubiquitous part of home life, but are people forgoing live erotic entertainment for other forms or fun? While it seems unthinkable for someone who couldn’t wait to get to a club (though of course did so only as a legal adult :)), it seems others are doing just that. Over the past decade, clubs across Canada have been closing their doors. In Toronto alone, there used to be 63 strip clubs. Now, there are only 14! Tim Lambrinos of the Adult Entertainment Association of Canada notes that the perception of clubs as seedy and a hotbed of crime could be a contributing factor. However, he also concedes that the key demographic for these venues, young males, might be more interested in electronics. I’m not quite sure he’s as plugged in as he should be, though, in discussing these trends. Game Boys are a bit of an antiquated reference. However, the point is made.

Dry Spell Opportunity
Sometimes we just aren’t having regular sex. Some will look at dry spells positively. Some will get extremely frustrated. Are you taking time for yourself and focusing on your own needs and desires? Are you cockblocking yourself by being persnickity about what you’re looking for in a bedmate? Elianna Lev considers both and much more while navigating her own dry spell by talking to others who abstain from sex both by choice and circumstance. These perspectives, from a neat variety of people, engage the different ideas associated with sex and our own needs. Is sex passion? Is sex intimacy? Is sex touch? Is sex fulfilment? Is sex necessary? Some things to consider, both when you are and aren’t having sex.

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.

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