The idea of good and bad when it comes to sex is entirely subjective, but it’s largely true to say that if "good" sex is of the body, then "good" BDSM is of the mind. That is to say, if sex is the physical act of love, then BDSM is the psychological act of love. And yet, sex and BDSM are not necessarily different things, nor are they the same. They can be part of each other, and they can be the opposites of each other. They can exist together or independently, and in both cases they are equally strong and equally satisfying. Together, they are more than the sum of their parts.

Does that sound confusing? It should, because the relationship between sex and BDSM is a complex one, especially if you’re a bondage beginner. That means that there’s one element of the participants’ relationship that’s more important than any other: trust.

Let’s define a couple of terms, starting with BDSM itself. There are several different interpretations of this acronym and none of them is set in stone. A good way to think about it is not as a single acronym, but a blend. It looks something like this:

We’re talking more about the domination/submission elements of BDSM here, with some reference to restraints and impact play, although the concept of trust really underpins any healthy BDSM activity or relationship.

So why is trust so important? Head on over to Volonté to find out.