PERSPECTIVES
Vaginal Dryness: What to Do When Natural Lubrication Isn't Enough
Published: JANUARY 24, 2023
Vaginal dryness is not the end of the world and it doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you. And luckily, there are products and practices that can help make sex more enjoyable regardless of your level of natural lubrication.
Winter always makes my skin so dry. My lips get chapped, and everything from my ankles to my elbows feels rough and dehydrated.
But, like many of you, I take care of my skin and stick to a daily regimen of oils, lotions, and SPF. Skincare is an investment -- if you want to look and feel your best. Will it look like it did in your teens and 20s? Definitely not. But with consistent care along the way, you can keep your skin at peak radiance.
But what about our most delicate and sensitive tissues: the vaginal wall?
Everyone Is Different
Vaginal dryness affects almost half of people going through menopause, says Dr. Rosmy Barrios, MD and Medical Advisor at Health Reporter. "Menopause usually happens around the age of 50-51, but it can start a bit earlier as well," she says.
The "menopause is the beginning of the end" narrative would have you believe that everyone who menstruates is doomed to a virtual desert in their vagina. While that is absolutely not the case for everyone, there will likely be a time when you're not as wet as you want.
"People experiencing vaginal dryness shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about it," says Wicked Sensual Care's Resident Sex Educator, jessica drake.
Vaginal dryness can be caused by a wide variety of things, drake says -- stress, fluctuating hormone levels due to menopause or pregnancy, medication (prescribed or over the counter), smoking and medical treatments like chemotherapy or radiation.
The truth is, vaginal dryness can occur at any age for people assigned female at birth (AFAB) or for those who've had vaginoplasty, a feminizing gender-affirming surgical procedure.
While surgery can create a vagina that closely resembles a cis woman's genitals, its inner biological workings operate a bit differently. There are a few types of vaginoplasty. Some produce no lubrication, while others produce small amounts of mucus or pre-ejaculate, which can act as a lubricant. In addition, a dilator kit, like the Silicone Dilator Kit from Cloud 9 Novelties, can help with recovery after vaginoplasty and prevent vaginal stenosis -- a process where the vaginal walls scar and contract. Ditto for Sliquid T-Lube, which was designed specifically for trans men's needs.
READ: 7 Best Sex Toys for FTM Transgender People with Bottom Growth.
Sliquid T-Lube.
Just as with other traits that vary from one person to the next, vaginal lubrication differs as well. Some have more natural lubrication than others.
Likewise, some people retain more lubrication after menopause than others. But just as you put lotion on your skin, if you experience trouble with natural lubrication, there are ways to navigate it.
What Causes Vaginal Dryness
According to the North American Menopause Society, "...the reduced production of estrogen beginning in perimenopause can affect your sexual function directly, such as through vaginal dryness."
Some reports say that 40-55% of post-menopausal people will experience dryness. Still, there's no way to predict or verify exact figures. Dryness can occur for a variety of reasons:
- Dehydration.
- Antihistamines.
- Lack of arousal contributes to dryness during sex. When we are aroused, there is increased blood flow to the vaginal and genital areas. Blood flow to the vagina helps produce natural lubricants. If you're not very aroused, you will most likely be dry.
- Menopause.
READ: I'm going through menopause and I feel like my vagina is dry and irritated. Intercourse and oral sex are so painful! What can I do?
How to Handle Vaginal Dryness
Are there solutions to vaginal dryness? In most cases, yes. These include:
1. Use Lube, Lots, All the Time
Regardless of your level of personal lubrication, everyone with a vagina should use lube for sex play and intercourse.
The delicate tissues associated with vaginas can be easily irritated from friction. Imagine a massage without massage oil! Body-safe sex toys and body parts glide and insert smoothly with lube -- it just feels much better.
Try it out in solo play if you don't believe me. If your partner isn't a fan, show them how lube can enhance the experience.
READ: QUIZ: Which Lube Is Right for You?
2. See Your Doctor
You can deal with very mild dryness on your own with a high-quality lubricant. However, if sex becomes painful due to vaginal dryness and nothing else has worked, you should consult your doctor.
They can prescribe a vaginal moisturizer that is inserted into the vagina. In addition, low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy can be prescribed in more extreme cases.
3. Use It or Lose It
"Good blood circulation is vital for the health of every body organ, including your vagina," says Dr. Rosmy Barrios.
You don't need penetrative sex with a partner to achieve arousal. Solo people with vaginas can use self-pleasure to receive the same benefits.
Sexual arousal is the same in people with penises and people with vaginas. With the former, you can see the penis become engorged with blood. Vaginal arousal isn't quite as visual, but the same happens; the clitoris becomes enlarged, and other tissues swell during arousal. The labia may become plumper, skin tone changes as blood flows to the surface (like blushing does to facial skin), and the vagina changes in response to desire.
READ: Your Erotic Blueprint: The Sex Tool You Never Knew You Needed.