As much as we write about sex with intelligence and dignity around here, there are always those sex stories that make us say, "LOL", "OMG" and "WTF."

Getting F***ed Up Twice in One Night

After Heather Basten got arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, she and her male friend decided to take advantage of some back seat sex time - in the back of a cop car on their way to the Oconto County Jail. A juicy story, yes, but even better was this take on the traffic-stopping story: "Hey look, I get it. When you’re bringing your girl home from the bar you’ve got a very small window to make magic happen. She may be feeling frisky after a few beers right now but in 10 minutes she may be tired and bloated with a headache. You need to strike while the iron is hot. If that means you gotta TCOB in the back of a cop car then that’s you need to do. Kind of f***ed up for the cop to even arrest him if you ask me. Any guy should understand that your girl can be acting like a porn star in the car on the ride back but once you get home it’s sweatpants and bed. Foolish to let that opportunity slip by."

Getting Picky About Dick Pics

Perhaps you’ve heard about or are a fan of Critique My Dick Pic. It’s a website where men submit their cock shots for unbiased reviews. Madeleine Holden, reviewer-in-residence, is sometimes snarky but always serious about what she likes and what guys can do to improve their phallic photogenic appeal.

Why does she do this? Madeleine spills all in her essay The New Inquiry, Dick Picky.
"The core reason I started Critique My Dick Pic, however, wasn’t to chide men who send unsolicited dick pics but to elide cisgendered and, from my perspective, heterosexual men from the explanation for why dick pics exist," Madeleine says. "I wanted to prioritize dick-pic recipients and in turn make dick pics more thoughtful."

Fantasy on Fire

The Queen of Everything thought she had everything planned to go perfectly on a weekend romantic getaway she and her husband planned - a room at a beautiful inn in Vermont, a gourmet dinner, and some time in the tub that would rival the bathtub scene between Vivian and Edward in Pretty Woman. She had it planned down to all of the candles that surrounded the tub. Indulgently romantic? Not exactly. Looking drop-dead sexy takes work, especially with hair that won’t cooperate. That’s what hair spray is for, right? Her story about how too much hairspray and too many candles is worth the read in Toy With Me.

How Far Would You Go?

How far would you go to gain Twitter followers? A Brighton, UK, woman who describes herself as "lucky enough to be a liberated, 21st century woman and I will f**k whomever I please, as loudly and as obscenely as I like" put out an offer to give a blow job to her 1,000th follower. Apparently, she made good on her offer and wrote about it and shared a picture as proof on her blog, Seaside Slut Diary. According to the story, the lucky winner got not just one but two blow jobs from this bodacious blogger because she forgot to take a picture of the main event on the first suck-off.

Digging deeper into the diary of the Seaside Slut, she definitely has a flair for the outrageous. Her post on Terrifying Sex Toys includes some really horrifying finds such as whale cock dildos, a vibrating scorpion, and a masturbation sleeve that drools. She doesn’t say if any of these toys are in her personal collection, but they’re worth checking out if you dare to go there.

A Little Mishap

Some brides-to-be take advantage and let loose one last time at their bachelorette parties, especially if the entertainment is willing to comply. It might have been easy for a particular Spanish woman to pass off a birth control failure as a honeymoon baby, but not when it turns out that her hen party stripper was a dwarf.

My Father the Pornographer

So what was it like to grow up as the daughter of a man who was responsible for getting the 1973 porn classic Deep Throat into mainstream movie theaters? Pretty normal according to Kristin Battista-Frazee, who has written the book, The Pornographer’s Daughter.



When pressed for details of what was "normal", Kristin said, "I was six or seven when I found out. I say 'found out,’ but my parents said it was 'something for adults,’ which meant nothing to me. But as I got older, Deep Throat became more ingrained in popular culture—people had heard of it—so I got a feel for why he was out working long hours. It wasn’t a formal sit-down thing; it was more of a natural thing within conversation. He still worked for his company while distributing Deep Throat. To him it was a business venture."