Sex Blogger of the Month: Jillian Boyd of Lady Laid Bare
Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.
Jillian Boyd: Awkward but honest.
Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?
Jillian Boyd: A mix of curiosity, loneliness, boredom and more curiosity. Plus, the need to have a platform to write openly on.
Kinkly: What’s behind the name?
Jillian Boyd: I’d picked Barenaked Lady as my blog URL, and I wasn’t really happy with the first name I had (which was the pretty generic name Secrets and Fantasies). So when I saw that a few people had linked to me as Barenaked Lady, I decided to riff off of that and called it Lady Laid Bare. Mostly because it was me talking openly and candidly about my life - metaphorically baring myself.
Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?
Jillian Boyd: Anyone who has ever felt like they don’t understand sex, relationships, the world’s attitude towards these things. Anyone who has ever read a sex tips article in a magazine and went, hang on, that’s not how that works. Twentysomethings who are just discovering themselves sexually and sensually. People who sometimes, maybe feel like love and sex are a bit too awkward to navigate. And people who want to have a bit of a reassuring laugh, knowing that they’re not alone.
Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?
Jillian Boyd: It’s a balance between stories from my life, opinions about things that have caught my eye, bits of fiction and bits from other people (I do like guest posts). I don’t tend to do toy reviews or straight up advice giving (although I do have a regular feature dedicated to the magnificent Crash Pad Series, in which I pick and review one of their scenes).
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Jillian Boyd: Aside from the personal stuff, I often cover sex education because I think it’s incredibly important to get well-informed, non-biased, honest and inclusive sex and relationships education, and I want to spread that gospel. Other than that, I cover a lot of "things I’ve seen/heard and want to write about" kind of stuff.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Jillian Boyd: That’s a tricky one because I recently changed to a self-hosted domain and my stats went a bit wonky as a result. My Crash Pad Series reviews tend to be very well received, which I’m very pleased about. Other than that, the one that comes up often is one called Blowing All Year Round, which was a bit of a critique of Steak and BJ day.
Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Jillian Boyd: The community. Getting to be honest about what’s going on in my head. Growing along with my blog and letting go of the shames and hurts I’ve been carrying for years.
Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?
Jillian Boyd: Reliving past hurt on the page. Feeling like I’ve failed when I’ve not written in a while. Second guessing myself a lot.
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Jillian Boyd: I’m going to agree with what Erica Moen said in her feature and say that communication is key. Talk about what you want, what you’re feeling and what you’re doing. Don’t be afraid to say when you’re not digging something. And don’t be afraid to say when you ARE digging something.
My second tip would be to keep hydrated. If you’re having particularly energetic sex, you are going to want a massive glass of water at the end of it - and maybe even something light to eat, like a rice cake or a cookie or something. If you don’t hydrate, you may wake up with a terrible dehydration headache, and that is not fun. Believe me, I can totally testify to this ...
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