It's almost May and you know what that means - Masturbation Month! But that wasn't even the best sex story to hit the news this week. This week's stories are about masturbation, shocking revelations and the best dick pics you will ever see in your life. Check it out!

Two of Our Favorite Celebrations Are on the Way

May isn't just National Masturbation month, it's also National Bike month and one Oakland, California, adult retailer, Feelmore, joined with a local bike delivery service to offer delivery of online orders to the local area. I don't know about you, but having a hot bike messenger show up to my house with a new sex toy just might be my dream afternoon. I wonder if they can stop by and pick me up some ice cream on the way over? Cyclists who want to shop for their toys in person can bring their bikes to the store and enjoy 10% off as well.

Lovehoney.com The Sexual Happiness PeopleAnd if you are just wanting to celebrate Masturbation Month without the bike, may I suggest this new gadget by Fleshlight. It's called a Phone Strap, and attaches your mobile device to your thigh so you can keep your hands free while you watch, well, whatever you watch when you need your hands free.

What No One Tells Women About Sex

Anna Breslaw wrote an article for Cosmo called 23 Things No One Tells Women About Sex and it covers everything from "balls hit you and make noises," to "needing lube doesn't mean you are turned off by the person you are having sex with." These are all things I wish someone had told a younger me and definitely a list I will share with any women in my life who are beginning to explore their sexuality. Or, those who just need a reminder that it's "not your job to solve his boner."

Artist Finds an Amazing Way to Get Back at Creepy Men

Women everywhere know that as soon as they are online, especially on a site meant for social interaction, they are going to have to put up with men saying inappropriate things to them. Apparently, being within easy reach of a keyboard means some men think things like "You are annatopiacally what I'm looking for" and "Do you work on a chicken farm, because you look like you could handle a cock" are effective pick-up lines. Artist Anna Gensler came up with a response. She started sketching the men naked, complete with their quote, and posting them to Instagram. Brilliant!

Kale Is Gay ... Yes, Gay!

The news story I love the most this week is the one about kale, yes, the leafy, green vegetable, which came out as gay this week with a little help from Madonna. Check out the exclusive interview with this laid back, leafy guy on Buzzfeed.