Maybe you’re grinding on the dance floor while your partner watches you from the across the room. Or maybe you’re sitting across from each other in a dark, cozy bistro. Or sitting hand in hand on the subway.

That’s when you feel it. A deep, pleasurable vibration. Yes, there.

Your partner is watching. Smiling. Because you’re wearing a remote-controlled vibrator. And you're partner's holding the remote.

Sounds pretty darn sexy, right?

Why yes, it can be ... at least under the right circumstances. But while my partner thinks the high-tech notion of being able to make me come on demand is the most indisputably awesome idea ever, I have my reservations. Actually, what I’m really worried about is how this is going to work. I don't want that thing going off in the frozen foods aisle while I'm trying to decide which fish sticks to buy. (And I really, really don't want to be like this couple, who played with a remote controlled vibrator in public and ended up in the ER.)

Hey, it could happen.

Want to incorporate the fantasy of remote control into your love life in a way that keeps all the sexy without the possible embarrassing side effects? Here’s how.

Pick Your Pleasure

There are all kinds of different remote controlled sex toys out there. So, the first step is deciding what kind of remote controlled vibrator you want. Do you want the naughty factor of getting a buzz in public? Or do you want to use it in private to connect with a long-distance lover? What kind of toys turn you on? There is a lot of selection out there.

Consider Sound

Whether you’re in your living room or on the dance floor, having a buzzsaw go off in your hoo-ha isn’t just indiscreet, it’s distracting ... and a little disturbing. Seek out a remote controlled vibrator that’ll provide vibration that rock your world without leaving anyone else in the room the wiser. Discreet is sexy ... particularly in public.

Range Matters

Speaking of quality, another thing you tend to get for your money is range. If your partner has to point the controls within a foot or two of you, you're going to end up feeling like a broken television set. So not sexy.

Go for Quality

There's no shortage of cheap, flimsy things that vibrate and dare to call themselves sex toys. They can be titillating, they can be fun, but it’s a high-quality, well-designed sex toy that’ll really give you a night to remember. High-quality vibrators are equipped with high-quality motors that deliver more power - and more of the right kind of power - than most cheap novelties (vibrating panties, I'm looking at you). Quality doesn't always mean super high cost though. Shop around and read reviews to a get a sense of what's available in your price range.

Have Some Rules of Play

Letting someone else take control of your pleasure can be hot as hell - if you set some ground rules. I know, I know, talking rules doesn’t sound sexy, but talking sex certainly is. Tell your partner how you would like them to wield those controls. Do you want to be brought to your knees unexpectedly in a public a place, or allowed to gently succumb to pleasure at home? What excites you? What boundaries do you want to push (and which ones do you want to leave right where they are thankyouverymuch?) Simply saying those things out loud might prove to be nearly as hot as the play to follow. But not quite. (Get some tips on how to talk dirty in Talk Dirty to Me: The How and Why of Hot Aural Sex.)

Fly Solo First

Nothing ruins a perfectly good orgasm like fumbling with unfamiliar controls - or suddenly losing power at the most crucial moment. New toys often take a little practice. Before bringing your brand new, remote-controlled friend out on the town, try it out at home. Play, fantasize and learn at your leisure. That way if you do decide to take it public, you and your partner will be experts at getting right down to business (and pure, uninterrupted pleasure).

Be Discreet

Flirting with a little indiscretion can be fun, but do try to be conscious of your surroundings - and the other people you're sharing them with. And that nice, old couple sitting at the table next to you? They probably don't want to know about the shenanigans going on under your tablecloth. You and your partner have consented to play in public. The public at large has not consented to join in the fun. Plus, keeping your pleasure under wraps is half the fun!

Remote controlled vibrators are all about putting your pleasure in someone else’s hands. Letting someone else hold those controls can be really sexy, but before you run out the door with a vibrator tucked into your pants, talk to your partner about the rules of play. You may not be in agreement about what's sexy - or about whether the frozen foods aisle is the right place to play.