And then you buy that toy and it’s either boring or uncomfortable or, even worse, both. It's a real let down, but there's one simple reason for this: Every body is different. Some people can only orgasm with external stimulation, some only with internal, some only with both, some only in certain types of situations or positions, or with nipple stimulation, or anal or both, etc., etc., etc.
So, while sex toy companies are all vying to create the best toy ever, the truth of the matter is that there’s no such thing. That’s right, there is no Holy Grail of sex toys. The best of the best work well for a large number of people, but we’re all so different that there’s no one toy that’s going to satisfy all of us.
The key, then, to satisfaction is finding your Holy Grail? We’ve done some research and put together a sort of prose flowchart to help you in your quest.
First, Start at the BottomHave you ever tried a sex toy? If not, it might pay to start with a cheap "bullet" vibrator. You can get one at pretty much any sex shop or online retailer. And don’t let staff up-sell you on your first one. Just get something basic to see how you like it. Dangle the vibrator from the cord right on the surface of your clit or hold it directly up to the glans of your clit. Your quest for pleasure has begun!
Then, CustomizeIf you find that the buzzing of the bullet vibe feels good, but is not quite focused enough, it's time to check out some of the higher-end vibes from manufacturers like JimmyJane and LELO. Both companies use innovative shapes and tiny motors to better target their vibrations to the glans or external bit or your clit.
Seek Out More Powerful VibrationsSome people like relatively gentle vibrations, others need a lot of power to get the job done. If the vibrations in your first vibe feel good but leave you wishing they were stronger, it might be time to look for something more powerful. The Magic Wand is the classic choice here. It plugs into the wall, so you never have to worry about dead batteries, and it basically takes your bullet vibe and turns it up to 11. (Check out Kinkly's review of the Magic Wand for more info.)
Or Try GyrationIf you have used a wand, love it, but still want more, try the X1 Orgasmatron with the Rosa attachment. Rather than vibrating, the X1 provides a more forceful, circling or gyrating motion. The X1/Rosa combo mimics the feeling of external finger stimulation and exaggerates it. It’s what getting a clit massage from a super-hero would feel like. Or ... so we imagine.
Add a DildoEven if you like the sensation of a vibe on your clit, you might also crave penetration. In this case, you could try adding a body-safe dildo from Tantus to your vibe playtime. There are tons of shapes and sizes to experiment with. Or you could try the famous "rabbit vibrator", made legend by "Sex and the City." No one company has a patent or trademark on it, so you can get a version from just about any sex toy company. For both rabbit and dildo shopping, look for high-end brands that promise to use body-safe materials. (Check out Sex Toy Safety: A Guide to Materials for more info on what to look for.)
Discover Your G-SpotIf you're into G-spot stimulation (or think you might be and want to test it out)Njoy’s Pure Wand is a wonderful, non-motorized G-spot massager. This is one of the densest toys on the market; it’s made with solid steel rather than plastic or silicone. Its heft combined with its unique curve make it an amazing tool for G-spot pleasure. The only catch is that you have to do most of the work yourself. If you like to leave the heavy labor to your toys, check out the Grace attachment for the X1. The X1 drives the motion while Grace targets the G-Spot and (as an added bonus!) simultaneously stimulates the external clit with a pleasure nub.
The Final Frontier of Intensity: Sex MachinesIf you want to try more intense internal stimulation, a product like the Sybian might be the way to go. This isn't a sex toy, it's a dildo-packing machine that you mount and ride. The force from the machine moves the dildo in a way that can vibrate your entire clitoris ... and your apartment floor. If you want the power of the Sybian at a fraction of the cost and weight, try the X1 with Jane attachment.
Persevere In Your QuestAlways keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to orgasm. What works for your best friend, sister, or favorite porn star may not work for you. Experiment with your body, mix and match your toys, and figure out what you like. Enjoy your quest and remember that there’s no single Holy Grail when it comes to sex toys - even if you do know "the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow." Because ultimately, that depends on the swallow;)
Co-written by Megan at Orgasmatronics. This article was brought to you by our partner, Orgasmatronics Inc.