Have you ever heard someone say, "This toy is THE best!" Or read a review and thought, "Wow! Sounds amazing! I’m going to do exactly what that reviewer did!"
Seeking the Holy Grail ... of Sex Toys
And then you buy that toy and it’s either boring or uncomfortable or, even worse, both. It's a real let down, but there's one simple reason for this: Every body is different. Some people can only orgasm with external stimulation, some only with internal, some only with both, some only in certain types of situations or positions, or with nipple stimulation, or anal or both, etc., etc., etc.
So, while sex toy companies are all vying to create the best toy ever, the truth of the matter is that there’s no such thing. That’s right, there is no Holy Grail of sex toys. The best of the best work well for a large number of people, but we’re all so different that there’s no one toy that’s going to satisfy all of us.
The key, then, to satisfaction is finding your Holy Grail? We’ve done some research and put together a sort of prose flowchart to help you in your quest.
First, Start at the Bottom
Have you ever tried a sex toy? If not, it might pay to start with a cheap "bullet" vibrator or simple masturbation sleeve. You can get one at pretty much any sex shop or online retailer. And don’t let staff up-sell you on your first one. Just get something basic to see how you like it. Your quest for pleasure has begun!
If you find that the buzzing of the bullet vibe feels good but it's giving you ideas on what might feel better (more power! a bigger head! some kind of pattern!), it might be time to start checking out toys from higher end manufacturers. The same goes for any other toy you start with. Try it out, use it to learn about yourself and what you like, and use that information to help you gravitate toward better toys.
Seek Out More Powerful Vibrations
Some people like relatively gentle vibrations, others need a lot of power to get the job done. If the vibrations in your first vibe feel good but leave you wishing they were stronger, it might be time to look for something more powerful. What you want is a high-quality vibrator that delivers power and also a deep, thrumming kind of vibration (not a buzz). Read reviews to find out which might be a good fit for you.
Go Body Safe
No matter what price-point you're looking at, a body-safe sex toy is a must. Not only do they tend to be of higher quality overall, but they also won't leach toxic chemicals into your junk. Enough said.
If you have a toy you love but want to up the ante, technology is an increasingly fun and interesting way to do that. Try a vibrator that can be controlled via compatible app (it's so much fun!) or even one that can paired with virtual reality content, like the Kiiroo Pearl 2. It’s what getting a clit massage from a super-hero would feel like. Or ... so we imagine.
Two Is Better Than One
Even if you like the sensation of the toy you've got, that doesn't mean you wouldn't enjoy an additional sensation on top of that (many people do!) You could thrust with a dildo while you use a clitoral vibrator or use a prostate massager while giving yourself the ultimate handjob. There are so many options - where you go with them is up to you!
Play as a Pair
We often assume sex toys are for solo play, but they can also really heat things up with a partner. Try a couples' vibrator during intercourse, strap on a dildo and try pegging your partner, or try app-compatible toys you can pair with each other, such as Kiiroo's Onyx 2 and Pearl 2 (or Pearl 2 and Pearl 2 or Onyx 2 and Onyx 2, depending on you and your partners' genital configurations). These toys can be paired so that one reacts to the stimulation of the other. This can be great fun when you and your partner are separated by distance, but it can also be a great tease when your partner is right across the room.
Persevere In Your Quest
Always keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to orgasm. What works for others may not work for you. Experiment with your body, mix and match your toys, and figure out what you like. Enjoy your quest and remember that there’s no single Holy Grail when it comes to sex toys. In fact, the real quest isn't out there at all, it's within you.
Deep, right? Now go on and play with yourselves.
Anna Lynn is an editor and regular contributor to Kinkly.com. She started out writing about personal finance and later moved on to sex. She soon discovered that the two topics have a lot in common. The way we feel about money and sex has a lot to do with what we were brought up to believe, what society expects from us and the ways in which we unconsciously invest so much ego in how we perform (or appear to perform) when it comes to one, the other or both.