Sex collides with many different parts of our lives. Our creativity, our entertainment, our desires, our fears, and our biases. The great thing about the current sex-related climate is that we have the opportunity to explore, confront, and challenge any and all of these.

Beautiful Music Together

Sex and sexuality has long been intertwined with creativity. Countless works have been created, penned, etched, and painted to reflect, lament, or praise the artist’s relationship to desire and identity. Of course, music is another intrinsically linked media that can capture and embody the sexual essence of an artist.This compelling portrait of eminent composer Georg Friedrich Haas wonderfully details the journey a public figure and artist of renown took to find personal sexual happiness through kink with his wife, Mollena Williams-Haas. Those travels included difficulties, but as Georg embraced his need for kink in his life, specifically being a dominant, his work expanded both in output and range. It is truly a wonderful story of self-actualization. And, as an aside, Georg and Mollena are absolutely the cutest people to see together!

Write Sex Right

On the subject of sex and art, erotica is still in a boom period after it became the hottest literary sensation a few years ago. It used to be that you’d have to go to special stores in seedy parts of town to get your smut on, or make do with the heaving bosoms brand of sex in romance novels. Now, you can find delightful dirty words in most any bookstore you stumble into. And online—just take a guess how many hits come up when you search “erotica” on Amazon? (Hint: hella lots). So, if all these authors are writing reams and reams of sexual content, why is it so hard to find good sex written well in mainstream novels?

Are writers afraid of it? Are publishers? Personally, I’d love to see more gritty content in both popular and literary fiction, and not just because I like sex. As so many writers strive for verisimilitude, not including sex is shutting off a key component of many people’s lives. Just for giggles, here are some historical slang terms for sex that any writer could use to naughty up their manuscript.

Why Is Effeminate a Bad Thing?

Attacking physical appearances and mannerisms is a fairly common, juvenile tactic used to deflect attention from one’s self or to demonize someone else when there is no discernible merit to otherwise discredit them. “Yeah, well, you’re fat/short/have a big nose/have red hair,” are the types of things we expect to hear on the schoolyard...but not so much in a historical analysis. Especially when the person being studied completely demonized himself! Regardless, it seems there is now a discussion on Adolph Hitler's penis and whether or not its potential deformation had something to do with the countless atrocities he committed on the way to become, arguably, the more despised human to ever walk the Earth. Unfortunately, the talk is not as simple as “Hitler’s cock made him do it.” Rather, it is the language that imbues that discussion. Did his different dick and one-balledness lead him to being effeminate? Because, you know as we see all the time, a man acting in effeminate ways is clearly pure evil. There is much to explore in this compelling piece.

Two Heads Are Better Than One

On the other hand, maybe there is something to Hitler’s penis cause him to be a dick because a recent survey indicates that a whole load of men are dicks about their penises too! On the topic of oral sex, it seems that hetero men are still not that down with going down. Yet, hetero women are doing plenty of knobgobblin' whether they are into it or not.

With more and more understanding that the majority of women orgasm through types of sex other than intercourse, you’d think more fellas would be performing cunnilingus. Or is that bit of information still not getting through? If not, let’s share it again in easy to understand langauge: “Guys, the best way to help your partner achieve sexual pleasure is for you to use your tongue and lips on her vulva!” Oh, not simple enough? Let’s try this: “She might like your tongue on her clit. Do it!”

Opening Up in Anonymity

Are guys not going down because they just don’t communicate enough about sex? Could be. Men, generally, are not as comfortable talking about sex. Not only can this hurt relationships, but it can also close the individual off from many different discussions about their own sex and sexuality. One of those topics is healing from sexual assault. While largely thought of as a women’s problem (and rightly so given the much higher percentage of women affected), male sex assault survivors often never come forward, and consequently suffer from the long-lasting effects of trauma alone. However, the Internet is still being used for some good discussion, and men are opening up anonymously to discuss their past trauma. Anonymity can be a great comfort for those who do not want their identity affixed to their trauma. At least it is something.

Snip the Snark

Finally...scissoring. Can we just cut it out as the butt of jokes? It seems to fall under the category of different strokes for different folks. Except well, this time is it different rubs? Yes, there is an underlying issue with the appropriation of scissoring for male gaze porn, but that doesn’t mean anyone who does, in fact, enjoy the act should be looked down upon. In an age where we are discovering, and gleefully experimenting, with a wide variety of differing stimulation, it only makes sense that some folks will be into this act—and of course, others won’t be. I’m really glad such a knowledgeable and trusted person, Andre Shakti, was consulted for this piece or I fear it would be received poorly.