Are you and your partner looking for new ways to push the limits? Are you exploring BDSM as a single person? Are you looking for new toys and tools to wow your friends at the next kink or swinger social event? We'll, you're in luck. Here are five sexy BDSM ideas to whet your palette - and wet your you-know-what. (Wink!)

I’m a relative newcomer to the world of kinky sex and BDSM. But since breaking my goody-goody girl restraints and co-founding a sex toy company, I’ve been making up for lost time. In the past few years, I’ve explored Dominance and submission, I’ve been spanked with many an implement at play parties and in private, I’ve been marked and collared and clamped, and I’ve made love with multiple people at once. Whew! I’ve learned a thing or two, and I’d like to share some tidbits I’ve gleaned with you. Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned pro, my hope is that you find something fun here to share with your partner/s or play with on your own.

Under-the-Desk Humiliation

I am a switch, which means that I like to dominate sometimes and submit at other times. When I’m feeling dominant, this is one of my go-to scenes: I sit at my desk working on my laptop or texting my friends while completely ignoring my partner. Her/his job is to continuously provide oral pleasure - without any acknowledgment from me, not even a moan of pleasure, for as long as I want. My partner gets quite aroused. For me, holding back any expression of pleasure allows it to build and build inside my body. Ignoring the stimulation also keeps any performance anxiety at bay. By the time I switch my attention back to my body, I am ready to explode!

A Polyamorous Alternative: Call another partner on the phone and talk dirty to them, ignoring the partner in the room as they pleasure you.

Orgasm Denial, X2 Style

Orgasm denial is an old standard and a deviously fun form of D/s play. I like to turn it up a notch (or 11) with the X2 Orgasmatron. It’s a toy with the extreme strength of a high-powered sex machine, like that one George Clooney had in his basement in "Burn After Reading," but small enough to hold in your hand like the Magic Wand. For the scene, hold the X2 against your partner and turn it on low. When your partner is just about to cum, move the X2 away and wait up to a minute until their arousal has decreased a bit. Hold the X2 against your partner once again. Instruct them not to cum while you slowly increase the speed. This is an extremely difficult task with the powerful X2. If your partner succeeds, they have done very well indeed! Another perk: The Orgasmatron won’t numb or irritate sensitive skin as quickly as a wand toy, so you can really test your limits.

An Alternative: You may want to add a ball gag to muffle the screams of pleasure, but the X2 Orgasmatron is very intense. Pay close attention to your partner in case they signal for you to stop.

Not familiar with the Orgasmatron?
Check out a compilation of product reviews about this unique toy!

Nipple Clamp Conversation Starter

Nipple clamps are excellent for beginner and advanced SM play. I bought adjustable nipple clamps so I could experiment with a little pain and work up to more. There are endless ways to tie nipple clamps into your kinky and BDSM play, but here’s one that struck me: My partner and I went to a local swingers club and tentatively started a conversation with a couple sitting nearby. They pulled out a new pair of tweezer-style nipple clamps and asked if we’d like to join in learning to use them. We ladies each took turns having our nipples pleasurably pinched tighter and tighter. This led quite naturally into more play in the basement.

DIY BDSM for the Tech-Savvy

If you want to push the envelope both sexually and technically, I highly recommend the Master Beta Kit. It’s a do-it-yourself kit for the Arduino platform that teaches even a beginner how to program custom vibration patterns for a vibrator. My partner and I put it together on a recent date and discovered that stripping wires can really ignite a fire (literally)! But if you actually follow the directions in the Master Beta Kit tutorial, you’ll be quickly squirming as the golden bullet vibe tickles your bits just the way you like it. After we got things buzzing, my partner blindfolded me and held the vibe against me while he changed the intensity of the vibration. As the submissive this time, I willingly gave the control to him. It was such a memorable date - one we’ll be recalling fondly for a while! (Read more about this project in Get Your Geek On - and Get Off!)

BDSM Phone Sex

If you have to be away from your lover during the holidays, try this as a humiliating twist on phone sex. Talk dirty and listen to each other sigh and moan. If you are the Dominant, instruct your partner to wait to orgasm until after you have. As soon as you cum, abruptly hang up the phone. This scene makes my partner swoon every time and as the Dominant in the scene, I feel warm and happy imagining what he must be feeling as I go on about my day.

Have you come up with a new way to play BDSM-style? Leave your story below for the whole community to enjoy.

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