In the heat (or cool) of all that Christmas crazy, it's possible to keep a level head - and even screw all your Christmas cares away. In fact, the holiday season is one of those times of the year when sex is a great solution for pretty much everything that might get thrown your way. That said, don't get caught up with some of the sometimes unavoidable faux pas. They won't make for any amount of merry. Here are the top 10 things to avoid.
Don't Get Drunk at Your Work Christmas Party
Yep the same one that you've invited your +1 to. As your +1. Have too much to drink and you may end up having sex with that guy from legal you've been flirting with via email all year instead. Enough said.
Don't Pee On Your Playmate's Feet In the Shower
OK, so maybe you'd never do that. The point is to lay off whatever little things that you do to each other that make you crazy and send you into an argument ... just as you're getting ready to leave for a holiday party. During that quick, last-minute scramble to get out the door, just get out the door (or enjoy a little nookie in the closet before you go.) Everyone has annoying habits, but now is a good time to step up your game and avoid picking a fight.
Don't Take Out Your Sexual Frustrations
And by that I mean don't take your frustrations out on your or your partner's poor, unwilling second aunt over that stupidly innocent gift that you absolutely hate getting over and over again each year. Instead, duck upstairs for a quickie in some random bedroom and give the gift to your local charity - and to someone who will actually appreciate it!
Don't Get Caught Up in Catching Up
Forget about nailing every imaginable detail involved in "that perfect Christmas," whatever that means. Why not just run out of steam early and give the gift your partner really can't live without?
Don't Be a Scrooge
It's a laid-back, happy time of year. Or it should be. Annoyingly, if often turns out to be anything but.
So appreciate some of the simple things that come hand in hand with this time of the year. Like hot chocolate back at his place, naked and wrapped around each other in bed. There really is no better time of year to spend the day in bed. So take some time away - and end the year with a bang!
Don't Blindly Bring Home a Sex Toy as a Gift
If you're wanting to try a new toy out on yourself, then by all means get it, give it to him and tell him to go to town. (That's a gift in itself!)
If, on the other hand, it's your playmate's spread legs that are going to be weathering the storm of whatever little device you've got in mind, either go shopping together, start with the very basics or just plain lash out and buy one of everything and gradually work your way up. (Get more tips on introducing a new toy in How Sex Toys Can Help You Play Nice With a Partner.)
You've always got the whole of next year to pay off that credit card, right?
Don't Listen to Bad Christmas Songs
I mean seriously, there's just nothing sexy about Santa Claus coming to town (unless he's packing serious heat and planning on cumming snow all over it.) You might as well listen to songs about "Santa going nuts and wreaking havoc on the North Pole" by Weird Al Yankovic. Way fun. Feeling horny yet? I didn't think so. Find something sexier.
Don't Expect Too Much
Extra time off over the holidays might get you excited, but pressure is a total killer in the bedroom. That works the other way too. After all, wouldn't you rather just have the great sex, instead of getting caught up in the fact that the new coffee maker you got as a gift was black instead of red, like the one you wanted? I thought so.
Don't Be Afraid to Try Something New
I mean it's not like you're not both going to eat all of that vanilla custard anyway, with or without the plum pudding. Why not both cover each other from top to bottom in the stuff, and spend the night cleaning up every last drop? Merry Christmas, indeed! (Get more delicious tips in A Beginner's Guide to Food Play.)
Don't Skip Sex
Christmas is one of those rare occasions every year that stacks up alongside birthdays and Valentine's day. In other words, it's pretty much sacred. Along with all the other holiday duties, be sure to share some special holiday cheer with your partner.
Happy holidays (and merry fucking Christmas!)