This post is dedicated to my friend and colleague, Bobbie Morgan, who suddenly passed away last week. My thoughts go out to her family and friends and everyone in the sex community who were touched by her excellent writing. Bobbie was one of the first sex bloggers to take an interest in my work, and she gave me amazing advice and criticism over the years. I will greatly miss our talks and collaborations. Thank you for the time we shared, and what you gave to the community.

Checking Our Language Around HIV

When word started to leak that a prominent Hollywood celebrity would be outed as being HIV+, two camps quickly emerged: the glass-house living looky-loos armed with stones and those who feared a new round of shaming and stigma against a living, breathing person. When the news broke that the individual at the center of the rumors is Charlie Sheen—a legendary and notorious A-lister, the vitriol was taken to a disgusting new low. The immediacy of this reaction did indeed bring back to the forefront all of the negative language surrounding people who use drugs, have multiple sex partners, and pay for sex. As Rachel Kramer Bussel points outs, so much of the commentary and media coverage (professional and amateur), including the now infamous Today show interview of Sheen’s public reveal, contributes to both hate and silence. Would this situation be different if Sheen were a more sympathetic figure? Sadly, probably not.

Doin' It on Drugs

Of course, for many people sex and drugs do intersect, for good, bad, and just plain meh reasons. If you're curious about what effects different types of drugs, including alcohol, might have on your sex life, this article notes physical, as well as emotional and psychological impacts of substances on your sexy times. It Includes many different types of substances, from marijuana to cocaine to psychedelics and really encompasses the wide range of sensations people are both looking for and experiencing when mixing sex and drugs. It is not at all unusual for folks to look for more in their sex lives, whether that be a physical advantage (last longer, maintain erections, fuck for hours) or a new experiential plane. Lots of food for thought if you’re planning to use.

NoNo to Fifi Ads

Disclosure time: I was asked to review the new FiFi by Whizworx, a new male masturbation sleeve that features disposable sleeves. Before my toy arrived in my mailbox, Whizworx released some of the most offensive advertisements to promote their pleasure product, raising the ire of many in the sex community. These are definitely not cool at all. Fat shaming? C’mon, this is not creative in the least. Same with racist stereotypes. And, of course, some good old sexism! I also looked up the meaning of a fifi. Personally, I find it problematic. Which begs the question: what in the hell were they thinking? How did these ads get the go ahead? As of my writing this, nothing from Whizworx. Given the intimacy of the product in question, I can’t review. I might damage my dick out of anger while jerking off.

A Fetish for Clowning Around

Our relationships to fetishes remain one of the truly fascinating aspects of the human personality. As diverse as the day is long, fetishes can take us to places that are both awe-inspiring and deeply terrifying. Take, for instance, Kitzi Klown. She’s a self-described “fetish clowngirl”—a compelling combination.

On one hand, she’s providing sex work that will appeal to many because she’s attractive and fun, a true entertainer. On the other hand, others are attracted to her clown persona out of terror, and that is getting them off. Many people have a distinct fear of clowns, and that fear can sexually stimulate them, much like pain would to others. Just another way to prove how truly limitless the human sexual appetite really is. And after reading the interview, you just might have a brand new interpretation of this.

Sex Worker in the Family

As youngsters, we grow up looking at the adults in our lives as idols. They are the people who can do anything and provide everything. Over time, as we mature and come to understand more of the world and how things work, the facade of adulthood cracks. We get to truly learn what those same adults have done, what they’ve faced, what they’ve dealt with—and how they have both failed and succeeded.

When Rachel Grace Almeida was abruptly told that her Grandmother was a sex worker, she needed to regroup to understand and comprehend. When she could finally handle discussing this with her grandma, a truly amazing conversation took place. A great read.

Paving the Way

I wouldn’t even begin to guess how many money shots and screaming o’s I’ve seen in porn over the years, but it was truly intriguing to read about the first feature film orgasm—and the implications that it had on both movie making and the woman who performed it. Hedy Kiesler, later more widely known as Hedy Lamarr, was just 18 when she created this memorable movie moment in the film Ecstasy. Widely banned, the film catapulted Hedy into being known as the “Ecstasy Girl.” A notable aspect of the scene in question is that Lamarr is depicted as active and enthusiastic in this pursuit of pleasure. She’s not a shrinking violet character, and she’s not being taken or swept off her feet by the big, strong man—the way women were most often depicted in film for decades. A truly landmark moment.