Many couples find orgasm denial increases intimacy with their partner and helps them feel more present and connected during sex. This can be especially true for those who put emphasis on the power play dynamic. Playing with Dominant/submissive control in any capacity can foster feelings of devotion and commitment in both partners.
Some even choose to use to use orgasm control in a therapeutic manner. Take this scenario for example:
Taylor always felt guilty masturbating and looking at porn. Perhaps it was their religious upbringing that gave them that outlook, but even as an adult they can’t seem to shed the guilt and shame that accompanies self- pleasuring. Allowing their partner, Alex, to control their orgasms has helped Taylor re-frame masturbation and separate if from deep-seated shame. Now when Alex allows Taylor to masturbate, it’s a positive. Sometimes it’s a reward for a job well done and sometimes it’s simply a treat. Regardless, when Taylor masturbates to follow Alex’s orders it doesn’t feel as shameful. Perhaps it’s because it’s done to please someone else? Perhaps it feels more acceptable because Taylor doesn't have to initiate the idea? Regardless, for the first time Taylor knows what shame-free masturbation feels like, and it’s great.
Orgasm control can also be used as a motivational tool. It can help someone with issues initiating certain tasks or staying focused to completion. Imagine if you had a dominant who only allowed you to cum after you’ve gone to the gym like you promised, cleaned the living room, or filed your taxes? For some, that’s a great way to check things off the to-do list. Additionally, forbidding your partner to cum until you’ve had your orgasm first is wonderful in situations where the dominant partner needs an extended amount of time to reach climax.
How Should You Start?
If you haven’t tried orgasm denial, why not experiment by starting off slowly using short increments of time? You can choose to edge yourself toward eventual orgasm during a solo masturbation session. Perhaps your partner can have you earn the right to have an orgasm after you’ve completed certain tasks. However you decide to play it out, you may find orgasm denial adds erotic anticipation to your sex play that makes the orgasms you do have much more enjoyable.
