Ask a vagina any question and the answer will always be "more." More attention, more gently, more quickly, more friction....more to the left...hmm...maybe a little more to the right. Yeah, there. More of that.
How to Party Like a Cockstar
In heterosexual couplings, the problem - at least from the guy’s perspective - is that it takes more time. And time isn’t something that comes naturally for many guys.
For a woman, however, the importance of endurance cannot be overstated. A quickie serves its purpose, but what most women really fantasize about is an enduring love story with a beginning, middle and happy ending. For both partners. (Really!)
It isn’t that an all-night sexathon doesn’t appeal to people with penises. It’s just that physiologically, lasting that long is a real challenge. It’s not their fault, really. Studies show that it takes women 10 to 20 minutes of stimulation to reach orgasm, while it only takes men two to three minutes after beginning intercourse. Here are some tips on how to make things last a little longer.
Foreplay It Up
Let me state this as clearly as possible: Foreplay is not optional. If you really want to do it right, you’re going to have to get started before you even get started. And research shows this isn't just great for female bodies - men report enjoying it just as much - or more!
Plus, getting to know your partner's body - really know it - is fun! Think of it this way: If you want to go racing, you’ve got to start the engine, right? This is a delicate and discriminating machine. Sometimes, it needs to be coaxed into starting. It needs just the right fuel mixture and amount of lubrication. You have to press the start button with just the right amount of pressure. And, most importantly, you have to get this baby up to operating temperature before you mash the throttle.
Are you with me? Now, learning how to get the most out of a car takes what, exactly? Practice. That means trial and error. Fortunately, people communicate far better than machines (or, at least, they can). And the practice ain’t half bad. Consider it a labor of love.
Get Your Mind Off It
Sex isn’t just physical. Thinking about sex is also sexy. It can be very sexy. For men, it can be a little too sexy. Particularly when they’re having sex. So, part of taking control involves taking your mind off what you’re doing.
I’m told that every guy has his go-to technique for talking himself off that ledge. It could be shopping for furniture. Or cleaning the house. Or even that financial report you’ve been putting off at work. Unless you’re a furniture fetishist, clean freak, or spreadsheet junkie, this sort of thing should postpone the inevitable. This is not a complicated technique, but it means that in order to last a little longer and have sexier sex, you may have to think about something less sexy.
Use Certain Positions
Some sex positions feel way too good, so another way to last longer is to choose one that’s less stimulating. It’s as simple as that. Why would you choose a position that doesn’t push your buttons? Because you can. And, let’s face it, any sex position is a good sex position. So try opting for something that gives you more control over how good it feels. Many experts recommend the spoon. If you stimulate your partner's clitoris with your hands, this position can really help you both get on the same track to orgasmville.
Stop the Action
If all else fails, there’s this: If it feels good, stop. Then, wait until that good feeling goes away before starting up again. Kinda sucks, doesn’t it? Sometimes, when other options fail, this is the last resort. This is your safety chute. (Don’t pull it until you need it, because it might not work again.)
Practice Lasting Longer
If stopping mid-sex is a pain, practicing stopping is a whole lotta fun. Yup, we mean masturbating. And the better you can make it feel and the longer you can learn to hold out, the better your endurance will be when you get to the real deal. The Titan masturbator by Kiiroo is designed to boost stamina and maximize endurance. It includes a touch-sensitive stroking function, vibration and a real-feel sleeve. Basically, it's designed to feel so good, if you can last through its ministrations, you'll be able to hold out any time you need to.
How the Pros Do It
If you’ve ever watched pornography (and I know you have), there’s one thing that really stands out ... or up. Up to doggy style. And the plow. And anal sex. And that weird upside down thing. Up to multiple partners and multiple orgasms. There may even be some squirting involved.
OK. So, pornography isn’t exactly sex education. For anyone. However, it is a study in endurance. How do they do it? We don’t know all the porn star trade secrets, but we do know this: They have help. If you want to hit five home runs in a night, it’s not going to happen just because you want it to. Porn stars have to work at it (and you thought it was all fun and orgasms!) They masturbate before the shoot. They practice lasting longer. In short, they use many of the techniques in this article.
Make It Last
Having sex is easy. Having great sex often takes a little engineering. Because, let’s face it, despite their swagger, many men are really into is sending a woman into throes of orgasmic ecstasy. Nothing less will do. And that is not something that happens within three minutes.
Anna Lynn is an editor and regular contributor to Kinkly.com. She started out writing about personal finance and later moved on to sex. She soon discovered that the two topics have a lot in common. The way we feel about money and sex has a lot to do with what we were brought up to believe, what society expects from us and the ways in which we unconsciously invest so much ego in how we perform (or appear to perform) when it comes to one, the other or both.