How to Win the Battle With Your Body
I know this sounds pretty grim so far, but hang in there. There are thing you can do to reduce your pain and bring pleasure back to the bedroom. Here are a few things that have worked for me.
Think About Your Timing
The pain associated with PCOS tends to coincide with your cycle. You'll need to take the most care when you're menstruating.
Pick a Pain-Free Position
Experiment with positions to see which ones are most comfortable for you. Generally speaking, avoid being directly on top of your partner - even a slight angle makes a big difference. I don’t know if this goes for everyone, but positions like reverse cowgirl really hurt for me, even at times when the cysts aren’t as bad.
Stick With Soft Toys
Avoid very rigid sex toys, such as glass, wood and metal if playing with a partner. The lack of flexibility in these toys makes them very unforgiving when they hit a sore point.
Lube Up
Use a lot of lubrication. I personally like silicone lube since it doesn’t need to be reapplied, but others prefer water-based lubes. Either way, choose one that's glycerin free. Glycerin can contribute to yeast infections; you don’t need more problems going on down there, trust me! When you’re in pain, or anxious, your vagina won’t lubricate itself as efficiently or effectively - lube can be your best friend in this situation. (For more info on choosing a lube, see The Ins and Outs of Sexual Lubricants.)
Don't Power Through
If you feel any sharp stabbing pains during sex, stop. Don’t power through. That pain will turn into a dull throbbing pain that can stay with you for hours, or even days
Don't Forget Foreplay
Foreplay! It’s great for relaxing your body, and great for reducing pain during sex. Plus, it's fun! (Learn more in 10 Things You Didn't Know About Foreplay.)
Do Orgasm
If you can have an orgasm prior to penetration, it'll greatly reduce any pain you might experience during sex. If you can’t, have no fear - the above suggestions will all help you have better, more pleasurable, less painful sex.
Better Living, Better Loving
Another important aspect here is managing PCOS in your daily life. This will not only improve your sex life, but your quality of life overall, not to mention you future health. Managing weight gain is often a major part of this. The hormone imbalances that cause PCOS also cause your body to be poor at regulating insulin, which makes you more susceptible to weight gain. The weight gain makes the hormone imbalance worse, making weight loss a lot more difficult. The more weight you gain, the more out of control your hormones will be, which will make every symptom you have worse too. For people with mild PCOS, weight loss or management can reverse many of the effects of PCOS, including cyst formation and the subsequent pain that it causes.
And, of course, you should talk to your doctor. There are some treatments to help balance hormones for PCOS sufferers. They can also really help bring your libido back to life.
For a handy guide to both learning about and managing PCOS, its symptoms and even a guide to what you should eat, I’ve found "A Patient’s Guide to Understanding and Reversing Polycystic Ovary Syndrome" to be well written, easy to understand and very helpful.
