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10 Ways to Prioritize Sexual Intimacy on a Busy Vacation

Published: JUNE 6, 2018
Making sex a priority ensures it gets checked off your vacation to-do list.

We all know vacations can be amazing. Not only do you get away from the day-in, day-out feeling of everyday life, but you usually get to explore new surroundings, amazing new food, and new activities. Every moment of a vacation can be an entirely new reason to feel alive and feel your passion for life. You get to skip out on work - and do pretty much whatever you want. That freedom can be intoxicating - and it calls to most of us on a regular basis.

Yet, when you're busy from 8:00 am until midnight every day packing your day full of awesome new activities, it can feel hard to fit in sex. In fact, you may feel like you're missing that sensual connection with your partner when you're arguing over what to eat for dinner or who was supposed to pack the towels. Plus, some of us (myself included!), tend to get more easily agitated and grumpy when we aren't having regular sex. Grumpy partners don't make for fun vacation memories. So, how do you go about finding the time to have sex during a busy vacation? How do you make it feel like fun - instead of feeling like you're missing out on other activities?


While these tips may not be the be-all, end-all of vacation ideas, they will give you a sense of how to make sex fit into your next vacation. Think about them, talk it over with your partner and give them a try. If all goes well, you'll arrive home rested, relaxed and satisfied (both emotionally and sexually).

Schedule a Sexual Evening Date

Just like you might do during everyday life, you might consider scheduling an entire vacation evening devoted to sensuality and sex. Pick a night during your vacation and devote all that time to you and your partner. You might consider an easy, simple, light dinner, and then extra time to slip into the bed to hold one another and see what happens. Scheduling out such a large portion of time to just relax, enjoy each other's company, and possibly have sex can provide the downtime that your brains need to enjoy a fulfilling sexual experience. If you choose this path, consider a night in the middle of your vacation to enjoy a break from all the action before and after your scheduled evening.

Schedule Sex

Maybe you don't have a full evening to devote to sex. Maybe you have kids, and an hour or two is all you're going to get. Whatever the reason, if you don't want to schedule an entire evening, you can always schedule a couple of hours for you and your partner to explore your sexual intimacy. While it can be tempting to schedule in the minimum amount of time for your sexual enjoyment, try to avoid that temptation. Why? Well, because when the two of you only have 15 minutes scheduled, the likelihood that you both will be comfortable and in the mood for sex (and complete the act!) is minimal. Instead, schedule enough time for the two of you to entirely relax, come down from some of the excitement of the day and get into a good, sexual headspace.


Take One More Day for Sex

While this isn't financially feasible for everyone, have you considered extending your trip by a day? Both of you can agree that this additional day will be entirely sex-focused. You can easily avoid the "no sex guilt" for the rest of the trip when you've spent an entire day focused on having as much hot sex as you can.

Set a Reasonable Bed or Wake-Up Time

When do the two of you like to have sex? If you're like many couples with children, first thing in the morning or the last thing at night might be your best, and most private, options. You can keep that same mindset on vacation as well. The key is to get a good night's sleep and set bedtimes to ensure that happens. Carving out that bit of time in the morning - or at night - where you aren't scrambling around or running late gives a lot more flexibility for enjoying each other's bodies. Plus, nobody wants sleeping to be a stressful activity. Give your body the time it needs to feel fully rested!

Bring Along New Items You're Excited to Try

If you're looking for a good way to encourage the two of you to set out some together time, consider bringing along some new items you've been dying to try. Whether that's a physical item or a print-out of a new sex position you want to try, having a regular reminder of something "new" you can do might encourage the two of you to put off lunch for another hour. Try to put this item in as obvious of a spot as possible for regular visual reminders about the new item - and your sex life. After all, vacations are about trying new things, right?

Read: 4 Things You Should Look For in a Vibrator You Want as a Travel Buddy


Do Things That Feel Sexual to You

What feels sexual to the two of you? What usually acts as non-sexual foreplay? Is it getting dressed up for a fancy dinner? Is it experiencing a new hobby together? Is it cuddling up on the couch with a movie you haven't seen? Whatever it is, try to fit it into your vacation. You can bring formal clothes to go out to dinner at a brand-new restaurant. You can try skydiving, pottery painting, scuba diving, Segway tours and more together. You can rent a DVD and get delivery from that local place everyone raves about. Doing fun things that tend to arouse you will help you feel more rejuvenated, and it'll keep your relationship - and your sexual relationship - closer to the front of both of your minds.

Scope Out Your Living Space

Part of the enjoyment of staying in a new place is the excitement of, well, staying in a new place! You can take this to a sexual level as well. Does your place have a sturdy, large table that would be good for sex? Well, your hotel might! Does your hotel have a bed of a different height? Well, this might be a good time to try a new type of standing sex position! What about the couch? The kitchen counters? Maybe your hotel even has a spacious shower or dual shower heads? Whatever the case, scoping the place out with a sexual mindset will help the two of you be more excited for sexual activity - and more likely to carve out a bit of time to enjoy each other. Just be careful of safety considerations...and leave furniture and your vacation home in the same condition as when you arrived.

Read: The 6 Things in Hotel Rooms That Make Sex HOT

Scope Out a Sex Toy Store

If you're going to a larger city, there's no reason you can't scope out a local sex toy store. Most larger cities have one (or more!) sex toy stores to visit. If you've never been in a sex-positive store, try to find one of those - you'll be in for a huge treat! Shopping together is a fun and sexy way to enjoy a new city.

Look for a BDSM Club

Are you of the kinky variety? A lot of BDSM groups offer out-of-towner clauses for entrance into their play parties - especially if you're active in your local kink group back home. Some groups may ask for a recommendation from your current group's leadership, and others may just allow out-of-towners to access to their play parties as long as they agree to show up early for a little chat before the event begins. If you like the idea of spending an evening at a new club, finding the local BDSM scene might be a great choice. Just remember to bring some toys to play with - or plan on a minimal-equipment scene if you want to play!

Don't Over-Schedule Yourself

It can be hard to feel sexual intimacy (even at home!) if you're constantly scurrying around to hit every item on your to-do list. Most people's brains have a hard time kicking back into "Let's enjoy ourselves!" when there are still six more things on the docket for the day. When you're going on vacation, attempt to limit the temptation to see everything there is to see. Yes, you could argue that you can always have sex when you get back home and you can't see these wonderful things when you're back home. But, if you're reading this article, it's clear that maintaining your sexual connection while you're on a trip is important to you. If you're someone who feels much more comfortable scheduling every minute of every day, there's a simple solution for you: schedule in a time for the two of you to have sex. Then, use the tips above to ensure you check it off the day's to-do list.

Photo for Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay

Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.

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