BDSM Dating Sites: Why They're Great and What To Watch Out For

Meeting and, from there, hopefully playing with any fellow kinksters used to be limited to the very old-fashioned way -- that is, face-to-face or not at all.

It sucked then, and it would suck now, except that thanks to this newfangled thing called the "internet," we can meet, mingle, negotiate and perhaps even play with like-minded BDSM folks without having to change out of our pyjamas.

That doesn't mean online dating is perfect. In fact, there's a lot to learn about how to do it effectively and, most all, safely.

READ: A Look Into the World of Online BDSM Roleplay.

So let's take a look at some of its pros, cons and what you'll find when you first begin dipping your leather or latex-clad toes into kink dating sites.

BDSM Dating Safety

Whether in-person or online, the first thing you or anyone else should ask themselves about BDSM dating is how to make it as safe as possible.

Or, in the case of kink dating sites, it might be better to swap out "safe" with "secure."

Note that you should strive to adhere to the RACK framework of BDSM play as often as you can. But along with physical and emotional risk reduction, you should make sure everyone's heads are screwed on straight and that those involved have clearly and unequivocally consented when online dating. You must be extra cautious about the sites you frequent and what you share about yourself.

Fortunately, a majority of sites, both kinky and non, have dramatically improved their security precautions. Still, never take their word for it. Instead, practice your own due diligence before signing up. I personally recommend steering clear of BDSM dating sites with social media integration because it is often far too easy to accidentally share something to Facebook, Twitter or any other place to which you may not have wanted to expose yourself.

Another security feature is that some sites let you create a dating profile without needing any of your "real world" information. Obviously, sites that charge for their services need this info, but if they don't, then they don't need it -- and you should think twice about giving it to them.

Remember the old maxim: "Don't say anything online you wouldn't want the whole world to know."

A big part of this is to take stock of your life. In other words, carefully examine any personal and professional risks you might have and what could happen if your private kinks should become public before you do anything online.

Sure, it can be a drag, especially when you realize what you have at stake, but as that other old maxim says, "It is better to be safe than sorry."

READ: Stay Safe: Tips for Protecting Yourself When You're Dating Online.

The Pros of BDSM Dating Sites

Now, let's get to why BDSM dating sites can be a LOT of fun.

Making Connections

The biggest of these pros is that BDSM dating sites can be used to connect with like-minded kinksters -- some of whom might even be up for some face-to-face, body-to-mind encounters.

You can also get very specific about what you like, don't like, or might be willing to try. Sites like BeNaughty, Match BDSM, ALT, and fetish.com (to name a few) offer a huge range of options for narrowing down your search for potential playmates.

Name a fetish or playstyle and, dollars to donuts, you'll likely find a checkbox that'll put on any similarly-interested kinksters.

Not having much luck? Don't worry; you can tweak, change or completely rewrite your profile whenever you want.

Getting too much unwanted attention? Never fear; there's often an option to reduce the number of people who can contact you or, if they're getting creepy, methods to report or block them.

READ: How to Date When Kinky.

All-In-One Community

The best kinky dating sites provide a complete online experience, which means you can send instant or email-like messages or posts and share images and files. For example, fetish.com has forums galore as well as a private chat feature for when you want to get more personal.

In other words, you don't have to make the uncomfortable decision to leave the site to continue communicating with whoever you're flirting with.