SEX TOYS AND PRODUCTS
Strap-On Wearing for Cis-Men
Published: DECEMBER 27, 2021
Just because you came equipped with a penis doesn't mean you can't enjoy a strap-on! Buckle up!
[This article was written to encourage cis-men to discover the joys of strap-ons. We recognize not all people with penises are men and that not all men have penises!]
Like the name hints, a “strap-on” is just that: a toy that straps onto the body, usually with a harness around the waist. This allows the user to “strap-on” most toys of their choosing. Very popular for pegging, strap-on harnesses and toys are an ever-growing market. Luckily, alongside the pegging crowd, strap-on toys for men have grown, too.
But Why "for Men?"
Since many men are already equipped with a penis, it can be a bit surprising for many people to think about using strap-ons. After all, why not use the equipment you already have?
Here's the thing: using a strap-on for men is usually about having another option around instead of the biological penis. There are a myriad of reasons for this.
First, for some people, the penis may not function as reliably as the couple would like. There may be issues with getting and maintaining an erection or there may be issues with ejaculation. Either way, using a strap-on allows the couple to focus more on the pleasure and the fun of sex - instead of focusing on a penis. This can allow the couple to enjoy sex with less pressure. No one "needs" to get hard to accomplish intercourse. With a strap-on, penetration can go on forever (or, well, until you meet your cardio limit).
Second, you may be avoiding the biological penis for fun. Especially in kink dynamics where a woman is in charge, a lot of kinks involve humiliating or embarrassing the penis-owner for fun. Using a strap-on, and verbally chastising him that his own equipment wasn't enough, can become a fun game.
Read: 3 Scenes for a Beginner FemDom to Try
Third, using a strap-on harness for men can let the couple experiment with larger (or smaller) penis sizes. Especially if the receiving partner desires smaller (or larger) sensations during penetration, a strap-on dildo can easily deliver. It's a new penis size on demand!
Some couples also find it fun to experiment with "new shapes." A biological penis tends to stay relatively similar in design over someone's lifetime. But a dildo? It can be switched out for wider girths, g-spot curves, smaller lengths, fantasy designs, and more. Especially if a couple enjoys fantasy roleplay, it can be hard to play the role of "evil, mean orc" if your equipment doesn't match up.
In addition, there's also the bonus fun you can have with a strap-on harness for men. Some harnesses are equipped with an O-ring for a dildo and an O-ring for a biological penis. This allows someone to use both their own penis and a dildo for double-penetration of their partner. It's all the fun of a threesome without an extra human!
There are a whole lot of reasons to experiment with a strap-on harness for men. Whether it's medical, pressure-relieving, to indulge in a fantasy, or just for fun, using strap-on dildos for a person with a penis can be a blast!
What's the Difference Between a Penis Extension and a Strap-On for Men?
There tend to be three big categories of strap-on toys for men: penis extensions, hollow strap-on toys with harnesses, and regular dildos with harnesses.
Read: The Rise of Penis Pleasure Devices
A penis extender is a hollow toy that's designed to be worn on the penis to change your length and width. These toys are almost always designed to be worn on an erect penis, and they very rarely feature a strap-on harness that goes around the waist. The vast majority of these toys are not rigid enough to achieve penetration without an erection within the sleeve. On occasion, they may feature a strap that goes around the balls (like a cock ring) designed to help hold the penis extender in place. Penis extenders are almost always designed to transmit sensation through them (though how much sensation varies by manufacturer).
These, for example, are penis extenders:
Hollow strap-ons for men are different. Instead of looking like a penis extender, these toys generally look like regular dildos - only they're hollow on the inside. Instead of anchoring to the testicles (like the penis extenders we just talked about), these toys anchor onto the body with the help of a strap-on harness. This strap-on harness design (partnered with the hollow interior chamber) is a fantastic choice for those who don't want to have an erection as a requirement to use their strap-on toy. The harness functions to hold the toy in place regardless of penis hardness.
However, since these toys don't require an erection to work, the sex toy itself must have rigidity built into it to achieve penetration. This can leave them a bit on the thicker side. This may not be comfortable for the receiving partner. However, sizing down can become too tight for the wearer with an erection. This will definitely be a matter of finding the "right" fit. In addition, because of the rigidity, many hollow strap-on dildos may not transmit a lot of sensation to the wearer during use.
Let's take a look at some of the hollow strap-ons with harnesses:
As your final option, you can also purchase strap-on harnesses with non-hollowed dildos. These dildos do not provide a chamber for the penis to slide into. Instead, this set-up straps a standard dildo onto the body, alongside the biological penis. Especially if you plan on using this dildo for double-penetration activities in the future, you might prefer the rigidity and "stand-alone" ability of kits designed for this.
Read: 8 Tips For Choosing a Strap-On Harness for Men
If you're using your male strap-on for power exchange or humiliation purposes, having a toy where the biological penis is still visible and uninvolved can also add another layer of complexity to your scene. Using a strap-on harness and standard dildo is particularly common within the chastity kink.
Here are some strap-on harnesses designed for penis owners that work perfectly with any ol' flared base dildo:
Which version is right for you? Well, it depends on why you're using one of these products. Are you using it as an alternative to reliable erections? An extender probably isn't a great choice for you as it requires an erection to use. Are you using it to achieve a larger penis but still want sensations for the penis-owner? A standard dildo and male harness probably isn't a great choice. Are you using it to enact your threesome fantasies? An extender or a hollow strap-on won't work for that as you won't have two dicks to play with. You should probably go with that standard dildo and male harness.
How Do I Bring This Up?
Bringing up the idea of a using a strap-on for men can be pretty terrifying. Unfortunately, the idea of men wearing strap-ons isn't mainstream in our culture (yet! I'm trying!) so many people haven't even thought about it. In addition, because of the way a lot of us are raised, a man's ego can be somewhat caught up in his sexual performance and penis size, making it even scarier to bring up the idea of bringing in a toy.
Before you even bring up a strap-on, I'd generally recommend bringing up the idea of using dildos in the bedroom. Not only does this familiarize you both with having sex toys in the bedroom, but if you select toys with flared bases, you can use most of these dildos as strap-on toys in the future. The two of you can get used to having body-safe sex toys in your bedroom while realizing that it doesn't function as a replacement for the intimacy or closeness of sex that another human being provides.