Sex Blogger of the Month: Wendy from The Wench Works

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Wendy: It’s a tie between Kink Discourse and Mental Health. When I started The Wench Works, the blog focused heavy on sex and mental health. (Nowadays, not so much. But I’m getting back there!) I often talked about my own mental health, and tried to discuss where sex and mental illness connected. I can’t say I was always successful covering that topic, mainly because I’m just not versed enough in it. But I revisit it a lot.

As far as Kink Discourse goes, I’m known for being analytical about kink. All kink. Not because I find kink to be bad - I love kink. I’m kinky as hell. But because I think it’s important to look at kink from every which way and make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual for every party involved, and even for those who aren’t involved but may be targeted from whatever kinks that can be partook in.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Wendy: “Becoming A Slave: A Beginners Foray Into The Master/Slave Dynamic” stands to be my most popular post. I think it’s so popular because it explores a dynamic that a lot of people are either familiar with, or want to be more familiar with it. It’s brutal. It’s honest. At some points, it’s even painful (in the heart-wrenching sort of way). I really put myself out there for that post, and I think folks really see that. There’s a lot of looking within and trying to find yourself and where you belong kink-wise in the post. A lot of readers, I feel, might struggle with wondering if something is for them or not, and maybe by doing some of the work for them and putting myself out there, they could find through my writing if it was or wasn’t.

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Wendy: Meeting so many great people, and making so many great connections. I’ve met some lifelong friends who have taught me so much! That’s another thing- learning so much. I’ve learned a lot about sexuality, gender, and all sorts of ally-ship. I never would have known about so much if it wasn’t for this blog.

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

Wendy: Writing. No, really, writing. Sometimes you just want the words to appear by themself on the screen. You don’t always have the muse to sit down and write. It’s time-consuming, and it’s hard work. It’s a big reason why I brought my editor, Korppi onboard. She’s now a co-writer on The Wench Works and helps me crank out content more regularly. It’s hard work. Especially if you want to stay current and give good stuff to readers.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

Wendy: Be yourself! Be yourself in bed. Make noise, laugh, discuss being spanked if that’s what you’re into! It’s so much fun when you and your partner are relaxed and just enjoying the moment. Sex toys are great to bring into the bedroom, but in my opinion, you can’t bring anything in to play with if you can’t even be who you are with your partner (or fling!). Be yourself and find pleasure in doing so.