Sex Blogger of the Month: Taryn of Ace in the Hole

It's October, which means all kinds of good things, including Halloween, pumpkin-flavored things, the kickoff to our Sex Blogging Superheroes list aaaaand Asexuality Awareness Week! We're all about awareness weeks of all flavors. After all, getting to know all about all the different types of people in the world is what makes life - and sexuality - so very interesting. In that vein, we decided to pick a blogger who focuses on asexuality, Taryn of Ace in the Hole. Not only is this blog a good place to get a better sense of what asexuality is all about, you can also tune in for sex toy reviews, sex ed and even SEO advice for bloggers (Taryn is also an SEO consultant)!

Here's what Taryn had to say about blogging, her blog and why you might want to check it out.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Taryn: Asexuality education and sass! I know it's four, but, whatever.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Taryn: I didn't see a whole lot of blogs about asexuality that talked about personal experiences in relationships and with sex toys, so I thought I might be able to fill a bit of a gap!

Kinkly: What’s behind the name?

Taryn: Ace is a common way of shortening asexual (ace person = asexual person) and in the hole is ... well, there are holes involved.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

Taryn: Anyone looking to learn more about asexuality, sex toys, or SEO!

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

Taryn: I talk about search engine optimization. It's something I've been doing professionally for years and thought it would be valuable to bring that knowledge to the larger sex blogger community.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Taryn: Usually what asexuality is, how it came about, how it exists in current queer spaces and media, and how I discovered it on my own.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Taryn: My most popular post is about checking in with your relationship and 10 ways to maintain intimacy without sex. I think the intimacy one really speaks to my ace readers, but also lets allosexual folks remember that intimacy doesn't always mean sex. And the relationship one was spurred by a conversation I had on twitter about how my husband and I have weekly check-ins with each other and how that's helped us maintain and improve our relationship

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Taryn: The people! I've met so many wonderful and creative people that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. Some of them have become dear friends and I'm so grateful for that.

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

Taryn: The people! Just kidding. Kinda. Sex is a hugely touchy subject for many, many people, and a lot of times, fear will come out as anger. They don't know how to deal with a woman talking about sex and not being sexually attracted to anyone, and sometimes that breeds cruelty. There are also a lot of people who incorrectly believe that ace folks don't belong in queer spaces, and acephobia is a real problem that we deal with on a regular basis.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

Taryn: It's cliche, but communicate. Seriously. If you can't tell your partner what you like, you'll never be satisfied. Your partner isn't a mind reader - help them out!