About to embark on your inaugural journey into sex toys with your first clitoral vibrator? Maybe you've been masturbating with your hand for years now, or maybe this clitoral vibrator is your first exploration into the world of self-pleasure. Clitoral vibrators (and dildos!) tend to be the first toy that someone purchases to start their adventure into the world of sex toys.
Whatever the reason for getting one, clitoral vibrators can be an amazing helping hand in the bedroom. Not only can they make orgasm easier and more accessible when you're solo, but quite a few clitoral vibrators also transition well to partnered sex - and help you reach orgasm during intercourse, too. It's win-win all-around!
With that in mind, let's talk about how to use a clitoral vibrator:
I know, this is the boring stuff nobody wants to do, but it's vital. Feeling turned on and wanting to use your toys - only to find them covered in a layer of fuzz and at 20% battery life is no fun. Worse yet, if your toy doesn't have a battery life indicator, you can be going along, thinking everything's fine, then BAM! It runs out of power. That just isn't fun for anybody. For a lot of clitoris owners, going straight from "0 to vibrator" can actually be surprisingly painful. Vibrators offer a ton of powerful stimulation in their little bodies, and it can very quickly overwhelm an unaroused clitoris. There's no need to jump into using your vibrator at the highest setting. Not only are we trying to avoid that overstimulation we just talked about, but using the lowest settings first gives you a chance to enjoy the toy's full range of pleasure potential.
So the first step is to ensure your toy is clean, charged, and ready to go. I recommend doing the charging first (since charging a wet toy can be dangerous) and taking care of the cleaning shortly before you plan on using it. As always, following your toy's cleaning and charging instructions works best.
That's why Step 1 will always be to enjoy some sort of arousal before pulling out a clitoral vibrator.
If you really prefer using vibrators as your first stop, consider multiple vibes. Some people will take two or three toys with them to bed - including one "warm-up vibrator". Usually a bullet vibrator (like the Silver Bullet Vibrator) or something else equally small, this first, warm-up vibrator offers gentler vibrations that can help ease the body into an aroused state. This can make things more comfortable when you swap over to using the more powerful options.
Starting with the lowest settings also gives you a chance to understand the volume level of your toy. Especially if you're in a shared living situation, the noise level of your toy matters - and almost all vibrators make more noise at their strongest settings than at their softest settings. Depending on your vibrator, you might find that you need to stay at the lowest settings for discretion purposes.
The idea is to use the clitoral vibrator on the lowest setting on your clit until you feel like you want more power.
If you're still new to figuring out where the clitoris is, "using the vibrator on the clit" might not be as simple as we make it sound. It might require some experimentation. You're likely to find spots where the sensation is too intense - and some spots where the sensation feels kinda "meh".
You're looking for that spot where sensations start to feel "oooh!". For most people, that's somewhere on or near the clitoris. Some people prefer to use their vibrators on the clitoral hood (the area on top of the clitoris) because direct stimulation is too intense. Others prefer to use their vibrators directly on the clitoris. Others, still, find holding the vibrator in one place to be too intense, and they'll wiggle or move the vibrator on top of the clitoris to keep the sensations diffused.
Clitoral Vibrator Too Intense?
If you're still finding your vibrator too intense despite warming up and starting on the lowest setting, it's possible that your vibrator is too powerful for you.
Sometimes it's just a mismatch between your body and the toy. Some sex toys are more powerful - and some toys are less powerful! Sometimes it's just the day. Depending on your stress level, your arousal level, and the time of the month, the clitoris can just be more sensitive on some days than others.
Whatever the case, there's nothing wrong with you if your toy feels too powerful. If you're finding that's the case, try experimenting with indirect stimulation, varying the pressure you are using and trying the vibrator on other parts of your vulva.
One of the easiest ways to mix it up? Just keep your clothes on when using a vibrator. A pair of jeans can be a fantastic way to quickly and easily soften the intensity of a vibrator.
If you're finding that you're enjoying the current intensity level of your clitoral vibrator but want a bit more, though, you can now up the intensity. Almost all vibrators come with multiple levels of intensity to enjoy. (In fact, the Rose Clit Stimulator includes 7!) Having more than one intensity level offers the ability to pick and choose what you're feeling that day - and also makes it easier to ride the vibrations to orgasm.
"How does it make it easier to orgasm?" you ask.
Our bodies tend to respond well to increasing pleasure. That's essentially what orgasm is - a bunch of pleasure that increases until we - BAM! - hit orgasm.
Doing that with your clitoral vibrator works the same way. We started off gently with the lowest setting, and now we're slowly increasing the intensity.
At some point, you'll start to feel like you might orgasm soon. If you want to hit that orgasm, being able to flip your vibrator to the next-highest setting can be the catalyst for an orgasm and the boost that a lot of people need to get there.
At the same time, being able to turn your vibrator down in intensity also gives you the freedom to continue to enjoy the sensations if you want, too. Multiple levels of vibration intensity can be a really helpful feature! Want more out of your clitoral vibrator? I recommend experimenting with new movements and techniques.
So, that's all a long, roundabout way to say: now that you have the vibrator where you want it while it's pleasuring you how you want it, feel free to adjust the intensities on your clitoral vibrator to head towards orgasm - or continue to enjoy the pleasure you're currently enjoying.
Some of my favorites:
- Move the vibrator like you would a finger. A back-and-forth motion or a circle-around-the-clit motion can feel extra-pleasurable with the additional clitoral vibrator sensations.
- Change up the pressure. Especially as we try to get the most pleasure possible, we can end up pressing the toy really firmly against the body. Instead, experiment with pressure. Try lightening the pressure then increasing the pressure. Experiment with how firmly the toy is pressed into you.
- Take your toy into the water or bath. Not only can that be more discreet than attempting to use it in your bedroom, but it makes for super-easy clean-up. (Make sure your clitoral vibrator is waterproof, first, though, like the Bisous is!)
- Consider taking a break from the vibrator mid-use. Especially if you've been using the vibrator on a consistent power setting, the sensations from a vibrator can start to blend together after a long time. Take a break - then come back to the vibrator - to make everything feel explosive again!
- Consider experimenting with a hands-free clitoral vibrator. While it may not be as targeted of stimulation (since you won't be holding it in place), hands-free clitoral vibrators, like a panty vibrator, can really mix up the fun and give you new sensations to try.
Not Satisfied with your Clitoral Vibrator?
Not every clitoral vibrator is a great fit for every clit. However, especially if this is your first clitoral vibrator, this can be really, really disheartening to experience. You get all excited for a sex toy, but when the moment finally arrives, the experience is mostly lackluster.
I urge you not to write off sex toys - or clitoral vibrators - entirely after one experience - or after one toy.
I'd first recommend trying the toy again a few times. Some toys just have a learning curve. Especially if it's an air suction vibrator or this is your first clitoral vibrator, it can just take some time and experimentation to find out what works best for your body.
If you're still not finding much pleasure from the toy, it's quite possible that this sex toy just isn't for you - and that's okay! Consider giving another vibrator a try! It's possible that this vibrator wasn't strong enough for you - or that it was too powerful! It's possible that this vibrator's shape just wasn't meshing with your body - or that its vibration frequency wasn't a good fit.
There are a lot of things that go into the sensation of a vibrator, and it might take a few trials to find the perfect fit for you. It isn't a reflection on you at all. I'm not going to try to presume what you're hoping to achieve with your clitoral vibe. For some people, they're planning on riding that bad boy until orgasm. For others, the goal is just to get super-aroused for intercourse with a partner. Others really enjoy edging and plan on teasing themselves for hours before ever thinking about orgasm.
Whatever the case may be, whenever you're done with your clit vibe, you need to make sure it gets cleaned. If you need to take a nap first, that's okay. But after you wake up from that nap, you need to clean your clitoral vibrator.
Like anything else, sex toys can harbor bacteria if they aren't regularly cleaned. Since I'm guessing you're not super fond of the idea of slipping a bacteria-filled object between your legs, so you need to take care of your clitoral vibe. This means regular cleaning after each use - and preferably before each use as well (just to catch any missed spots from the previous time and remove any dust/lint). Really, that's it! I have imparted all of the knowledge I have to you today. All that's left is for you to explore, try out different clitoral vibrators, and find out new ways to use them.
If you're feeling particularly motivated, you can choose to charge your clitoral vibrator after it's fully dried too. This way it will be ready for your next use. (Seriously; there's nothing worse than your vibrator dying mid-use.)
When you're done, make sure to store your clitoral vibrator somewhere safe. A spot that's away from easy view and away from direct sunlight or wild temperature changes is best for it.
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
