Sex Stories We Love: First-Time Follies, Difficulties with Receiving, & Brimming with Rimming

Open up and say, "Aaaahhhhhh!" This week's Sex Stories We Love looks at oral sex—acts are sometimes maligned and yet often divine.

Good Morning!

Rise and shine! And what better way to put a spring in your morning step than to be woken up with a good serving of oral sex. Forget bacon and eggs! Forget brunch! Maybe even forget that first cup of coffee (okay...that might be pushing it). Being roused from slumber by a tongue or a hummer ranks right up there as a big-time fantasy for many people. And it certainly can be amazing! That said, let's remember that the very fact this takes place first thing in the morning can be a challenge. Depending on what happened the night before, your partner's body might not be so fresh. And it is altogether possible that they might have to get up to pee well before you're done. Yet, if you can work through these realities, you're bound to enjoy a delightful sunrise!

First-Time Follies

Can we all agree that the majority of sexual "first-times" are often less than stellar? It is no surprise that first-time oral sex ranks right up there as producing some of the most cringe-worthy inducing scenarios of all time. These stories encompass everything from awkwardness to physical surprise to manipulation. So much so that it's a surprise that anyone ever wants to pursue oral sex with their partners later in life. For some, it can take a lot to work past unfortunate, early sexual experiences. We should always keep that in mind when discussing sex with our partners. Be sure to check in, make sure everyone is okay (as with all kinds of sex), and use your head before, during, and after head.

Difficulties with Receiving

Somewhere along the way, cunnilingus was downgraded way below fellatio. Okay, this isn't so surprising given how much dick is given preference in our society. It's a shame, though. Instead, orally stimulating vulvas has been met with stigma and disfavor because of smells and tastes. Well, however wants to sling that garbage around has definitely never gone down on a rank cock before. Unfortunately, this double standard resulted in many people with vulvas being insecure about receiving oral pleasure...and not being able to enjoy the moment. Here's the thing: everyone's body has the potential to be less than pleasant. Yet, in the vast majority of situations, you're just fine. You're awesome! And if someone has an issue going down on you, have a conversation and ask them what their concerns are.

Brimming with Rimming

Every so often figures get tossed out there about how many calories having sex can burn or how many calories are in a load of semen. If you're really concerned about carnal caloric consumption or correction, maybe you should consider tossing a little salad during your erotic exercise. While I do not understand why analingus is called tossing the salad, I do understand that rimming is a very sexy and intimate act. While it won't be everyone's cup of tea, licking ass has gained popularity because of its taboo nature and the amazing sensation it produces. Lots of people have well-founded fears and concerns, but paying attention to your body and discussing hygiene will make a huge difference in whether or not you and your partner(s) choose to knock at the back door.

Swallow?

There has long been a mistaken impression that oral sex is the great equalizer when it comes to safer sex. Unfortunately, this is mostly spawned by those who don't want spawn because the only truthful thing that can't happen through oral sex is pregnancy. Alas, you can still get numerous sexually transmitted infections while both giving and receiving. A recent study suggests that one of those STIs, chlamydia, might even travel through our guts to develop into rectal chlamydia. There is still more research to be done, but this does strengthen the argument for using barrier methods during oral sex.

More Clergy Abuse

Finally, whether or not you believe in religion, this priest who had to "suck" evil spirits out of parishioners with oral sex is demonstratively evil. Preying on anyone from a position of power is despicable.