Wouldn't it be great if sex was always awesome, always fulfilling, always hot? Unfortunately, that just isn't the case. This week's Sex Stories We Love shines a gentle light on some of the realities that negatively impact our sex lives.
Sex Stories We Love: Dealing with Painful Sex, Older Folks Like to Fuck, & Legal Bone-ifications
Sex isn't always perfect. In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we're looking at some of the realities that impact our sex lives.
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Sometimes, the issues that affect our sex lives have to do with choices and actions. In other circumstances, we have no control whatsoever. Physical conditions and illnesses are factors that are completely out of our hands and can be difficult to navigate and understand for both the person suffering and their partner who must learn to deal with the changes to the sex life. One such concern is endometriosis. Of course, the primary consideration must be the person dealing with this painful condition. This informative guide to understanding endometriosis and how it affects sex may be helpful for folks who are just now learning about it. It is not unusual for people with health factors to dismiss them when it comes to sex. This is just one of the many (faulty) reasons people used to dismiss older adults from being part of sexual culture. In reality, there are plenty of elders out there who love to get it on and have no intentions of stopping. Yet, for some odd reason, our culture seems to have put an age restriction on enjoying and seeking sex. As a result,older folks aren't getting the sexual health and education support they need. The barriers to older folks having sex are largely antiquated stigma that needs to be forgotten. Hopefully, initiatives such as age, sex, and YOU will help break that stigma down. Now, it is easy to see that disrespecting older folks and their sexual desire is a clear sign of lack of respect for sexual autonomy. However, older people aren't the only ones who deal with this sort of situation. Could it be that sex culture, at large, is generally suffering from a lack of respect among all of its participants? Take a read of the opinion piece and sound off on whether you think sex has become a bad Rodney Dangerfield punchline.
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Of course, if you're going to consider sex lacking respect, I would imagine that every woman out there is giving this column a strong "Well, duh" look. As they should! The lack of respect and shitty treatment women continue to endure in all aspects related to sex remains one of the greatest failings of our culture. Rarely, throughout history, have women been afforded even basic consideration, understanding, and compassion when it comes to sex. Instead, they've been ignored, demonized, controlled, manipulated, and abused. Andthis starts from a very base level of denying or misconstruing some fundamental aspects of sex that are kept from girls and women. This must change. I've never understood why people are so interested in controlling other people (well, in some circumstances, I totally get it!). So many institutions were established with the end goal of dominating and making others subservient. Sex has long been a popular lesson. In legal terms, we've started to move away from this kind of control. Hell, it looks like unmarried people in Utah will soon be allowed to have sex. Can you believe that one was still on the books? Unfortunately, a recent step backwards saw a teacher fired from a Christian school because she had sex outside of a heterosexual marriage. It seems so unusual that such a clause is legal in a work contract, and I hope these sorts of situations are denied in the future. It seems so unusual that such a clause can even exist in a work contract. I hope these sorts of situations are avoided in the future. Finally, if you've ever had a cold canine nose creep too closely to intimate, exposed skin, you'll understand how frustrating it can be to have your dog interrupt your sex life.
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Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the Year, V1 to rave reviews. He's also the winner of the 2010 TNT Favourite Adult Journalist Award and one of Broken Pencil's 50 People and Places We Love past co-host and producer of Sex City. Jon co-produced the queer literary festival Writing Outside the Margins with Xtra Magazine for two years. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.
