An Introduction to the Fascinating World of Predicament Bondage

Predicament bondage describes a specific kind of kink play that combines restraint with psychological play. Most often, it involves putting someone in a position that requires them to make choices between one kind of discomfort or another. It can also involve creating a scenario where someone is told to hold still (with or without restraints) and is teased or tormented in a way that encourages movement, forcing them to fight against that impulse.

Who says choices can't be sexy? Here's an introduction to predicament bondage.

What is predicament bondage?

Predicament bondage is putting your partner between a rock and a hard place - figuratively. Think vibrator or ice cube, tickles or flogger, stillness or pain. For people who enjoy the emotional and psychological aspects of kink and BDSM, predicament bondage can be a vast playground of creativity. And, like all forms of kink, it can be silly and playful as well as serious, depending on the preference of the players.

“Unlike standard bondage, predicament bondage has the extra kick of making the bound person have to get more consciously involved in their situation, as predicament bondage makes them have to choose which sensation they want to experience more,” explains educator, advice columnist, and podcaster Rain DeGrey.

“While rope can vary from quite pleasant to quite strenuous, usually the tie is what the tie is and the only question is whether or not the bound person can handle the experience. With predicament bondage, there are multiple sensations to chose from, and the bound person has to decide which one they are going to lean into. This puts the bound person into a noticeably different, more interactive, headspace,” says DeGrey.

What is mental bondage?

Because predicament bondage relies heavily on choice, it inherently involves aspects of mental or psychological bondage. And sometimes mental bondage can be even hotter (or more interesting) than ropes or chains.

When you restrain someone with rope or other tools, you’re taking (many of) their choices away. But if you simply tell someone to hold still, they’re doing it because you said so, and because they want to please you - that’s powerful stuff!

“Something as brutally simple as putting a sticker or drawing a circle on a wall and telling your submissive to put their nose on the sticker/drawn circle and not move, under pain of earning your disappointment, is quite the predicament,” says DeGrey. And the longer you tell them to hold the position, the trickier it gets. “No matter how hard they try to maintain the position, eventually fatigue, both physical and mental, will set in.”

That’s where the real power of this kind of play lies. “The only thing keeping them in that position is the mental desire to obey and please the person that gave them the command. They could walk away from their position at any time. What a predicament,” says DeGrey.

How to Set Up Predicament Bondage

While this form of play might require a higher level of creativity, in many ways it’s more accessible than restraints like rope bondage, which can have a steep learning curve and some particular safety considerations. (That said, there are safer options. Check out 8 Awesome Sex Positions That Are Waaaay Better With Bondage Tape.)

Author and educator Allison Moon says, “In my world, the ‘predicament’ aspect of predicament bondage is that the bound person has choice. This is in contrast to traditional bondage, where the bound person is pretty much fixed in the position they’re placed in.

Personally, the way I like to play with predicament bondage is giving my submissive choice, but between two emotional stakes: pleasing me and disappointing me.

For instance, I might have them hold a challenging position for the sheer pleasure of making me happy. As they hold that position, I’ll coo at them what a good job they’re doing, or share dirty talk for all the delightful things we’ll do after I let them go. The longer they can stay in place, the more proud I am of them, and the more adoration I’ll offer.”

Predicament Bondage Positions

There lots of great positions and ideas when it comes to predicament bondage scenes. Mistress Viola suggests, “It can be as simple as having them hold something precarious (like a candle that will burn them if they move) or as complicated as ropes to nipple clamps to genital bondage with weights and gags.”

Moon says, “Simply command your submissive to close their eyes, or stay seated in a different room. Then you can do fun things like masturbate or prepare toys while they have to wrestle with the choice of cheating by taking a peek or not. This can pair particularly well with cuckold fetishes, if you have another lover to play with as your submissive squirms. For people who enjoy the agony of FOMO, this is an easy way to explore that. “

Kink and BDSM educator Annamarie is full of good (bad) ideas as well. “Have a bottom bend their knees slightly and tie their pubic hair to their big toes using clamps and dental floss then tickle, smack, and otherwise encourage them to move.”

Predicament Bondage Safety

As with any form of bondage, you never want to leave a partner alone. Yes, in some of the predicament scenarios our experts have suggested the person is in the next room, but at a minimum you can hear if they get in trouble, and it’s important to check on them often. If you want to get high tech, you could even have a camera on them for ease of watching from the other room.

It’s also important to be realistic about how long it’s safe to hold any particular position. You don’t want to be dealing with muscle strain or injury because someone pushed themselves too far to please you. And if a scene lasts too long you could also be dealing with dehydration, or even kidney trouble from holding in urine too long.

This is all to say - no matter how sexy it is to think about pushing someone to their limits - when it comes to kink, being safe(er) and risk aware, is essential.