A:
Every woman produces ejaculatory fluid. It differs from urine, and comes from the Skene's gland sometime around orgasm. Now, does that mean every woman can squirt like a fountain? No. Most women can't.
For most women, this glandular fluid amounts to being a wet spot on the bed. Some women produce a wet gush or obvious squirt. Because the glandular openings (they are near the urethral opening) are deeper inside the vagina, most women produce a small amount of fluid with each out stroke of the fingers, penis or toy. Still other women produce very little fluid at all.
Sometimes, people want to associate squirting with orgasms, but that is not always the case. A woman can produce this fluid before, during or after an orgasm. All she needs is enough fluid in her urethral sponge and the right kind of pressure on her G-spot. That pressure can come from her muscles, fingers, a toy, a penis or even a particular position.
There is no one way a woman is supposed to respond when it comes to sex. Some women have a lot of control over when they will squirt and others have no control whatsoever. Whether you produce almost no fluid, a wet spot or squirt like a fountain, I want to make it very clear that you are perfect.
Now that you know about the healthy variables of response, you may be able to improve your (or your partner's) odds of squirting. Of course, your first goal should always be to have fun. Focus on playing and exploring, and try variations on this technique to see what the female body can do.
First thing's first: Ladies, if you're nervous about body fluids and sex, go pee before you play to ease your mind.
Get your tools. If you are a female who's playing alone, a curved toy will help. If there are two of you exploring, as her partner you can use your fingers and toys if you like. Lube will also help protect her vaginal tissue making for longer, hotter bouts of play.
Slowly arouse her. The glandular tissue that produces fluid for women is Embedded in the G-spot, which is sometimes called the urethral sponge or the female prostate. It takes time for the glands to fill with fluid and for the erectile tissue to plump up. In other words, you want her body thumping. Excite her. Kiss, touch, penetrate and do whatever it is that excites her.
Once she is feeling excited, massage her G-spot. Your fingers are a perfect tool. Insert two fingers, about two knuckles deep, pointed toward her belly button and do a deep tissue massage pushing up towards her navel and pulling the tissue towards her vaginal opening as you massage. Most women can take more pressure than you might expect, but let her guide you. You might also try using a curved toy like the Oui G-Spot Slimline or a curved glass toy. It is a nice, solid massage tool. Insert just the bulbous tip and rock it towards her navel or do short in-out motions.
Inspire her to focus but stay relaxed. Ask her to pump her muscles rhythmically while you massage her G-spot. Ask her to breathe deep while relaxing all of her muscles. Sometimes women will clamp up and hold it because they are afraid they might pee or simply because the sensation becomes too intense. Encourage her to give in to the sensations.
When she feels the urge, she should bear down with her muscles and push out. It is at this point she may squirt. If you pull the clitoral hood back towards the navel at this moment you will expose the granular openings and help inspire a fountain or more obvious squirt at that moment.
If these techniques work, awesome. If not, keep trying. This practice is about her being present in her body, about learning to connect with sensation and learning to relax and let go. Even if she never squirts, these are all good practices that should bring more pleasure.
