Sex Blogger of the Month: Mandi of EROcentric

Every month, Kinkly staff features a fabulous Sex Blogger. This month, we've chosen Mandi of EROcentric as our Sex Blogger of the Month. Mandi writes posts that are relatable. She discusses everything from sex tips to BDSM in a sex positive fashion. Here are Mandi's answers to Kinkly's ten interview questions.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Mandi: Sex-positive, passionate, and evolving.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Mandi: I grew up with a family that was much too embarrassed to talk about sex and a school system that valued abstinence-only sex education. As I grew into adulthood, it became obvious that if I wanted to make smart and safe sexual decisions, I would have to educate myself. I began reading everything that I could find about sex. I fell in love with the sex-positive movement because it was so different from my repressive roots. Eventually, I decided that spreading accurate and shame-free sexual knowledge was my passion in life. The blog is my starting point while I also prepare to further my formal education in the field.

Kinkly: What’s behind the name?

Mandi: While thinking of a name, I found myself instantly drawn to the ancient term eros because of its soft and sensual sound. I created the word EROcentric as an immediate indicator that my blog material would concentrate on sexuality. On a more grand scale, the name also signifies how sex is often a significant, and perhaps even a central, part of life experience.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

Mandi: My target reader is anyone who is curious about sexuality. Whether someone is trying to improve their sex life, concerned about their sexual health, intrigued by "taboo" topics such as BDSM or fetishism, looking for consumer advice on sex toys, or simply interested in learning about broad concepts of sex and gender…I try to offer a little bit for everyone.

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

Mandi: I think that the unique part about my blog is that I cover such a wide range of erotic topics in a way that is personal and professional. It may seem unfocused to some, but my goal is to reach readers at every sexual skill level. I do this by approaching sexuality in a holistic fashion. I don't just write about the physical aspects. I also write about the emotional and societal aspects as well. By doing so, I hope to create an informative atmosphere that is both relatable and welcoming.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Mandi: Lately, I seem to be writing about sex toys more than any other topic. I think that is happening for two reasons. First, I am a firm believer that sex toys can be powerful tools for sexual self-discovery. It has been only a few years since I became comfortable with my own sexuality. I am still in the process of experimenting with different toys and learning about my sexual anatomy and pleasure response. I enjoy writing reviews that might benefit others who are traveling a similar path. Second, I am very passionate about body-safe toys. I find it very important to properly educate others about the dangers of porous and potentially toxic materials.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Mandi: My most popular post so far has been 6 BDSM Principles That Vanilla Couples Should Follow. The recent popularity of 50 Shades of Grey proved that our society is interested in more than just vanilla sex. I had to wonder though, with the short-lived spike in kinky sex toy sales, whether "vanilla" couples were coming away from their experiences with more than just a sore bottom. My post focused on the many basics of BDSM that can be applied to any healthy sexual relationship. I think it was so successful because I concentrated on the similarities between the BDSM community and those outside of it to destroy the taboos that usually separate the two groups.

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Mandi: The best thing about writing a sex blog is definitely the connections that I have made with fellow bloggers, sex educators, adult companies and organizations, and dedicated readers. I am simply amazed at how welcoming and kind the community is to people; I have learned so much from so many helpful individuals!

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

Mandi: The worst part of writing a sex blog is the pressure that comes from being a perfectionist. It’s a lot of work to come up with new and interesting topics, complete timely reviews, and stay active on social media. It feels like the list never ends, but it’s the emotional pressure that is much more difficult. There are times when I have near-crippling doubt in my writing skills. I question whether I am qualified to give advice. Sometimes I expect myself to have a higher libido. Recognizing the unrealistic standards I hold myself to has been helpful, but it’s still a hard habit to break.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff. Give us your best tip for great sex.

Mandi: It’s important to realize that there is no one trick that will instantly bring every person in the world of immediate and mind-blowing orgasms. We all want different things out of sex. Therefore, my best tip for great sex is to keep an open mind and to communicate with your partner(s). This may be in the form of verbal discussions, written checklists, or even a secret code. Communication about sexual matters isn’t always easy, but it’s worth the effort. Figuring out a way to bring sex out into the open allows you to practice giving and asking for explicit consent, discussing your limits and whether or not they are negotiable, and expressing your desires so that they can potentially be met. Of course, the importance of nonjudgmental listening cannot be overstated!