A Lady's Guide to the Gentlemen's Club

Takeaway: Sharing the gentlemen's club experience with your man can be positive and fun.

So, ladies, your man wants you to go to a gentlemen’s club with him? Congratulations! That means he wants to share something with you that turns him on. It’s a good thing! Believe it or not, this can be a very erotic and fun experience. Trust me, I used be an exotic dancer - and I've also been a customer.

So, I’m going to give you some advice based on my own experiences so that you can make this your first visit comfortable, and even enjoy it without intimidation, insecurity, or worse, a fight with your man. So get comfortable, take notes, and let your man read this too.

What to Expect at a Strip Club

First thing's first: Don't feel intimidated. Keep in mind that dancers are doing a job. They do their best to make their customers happy, and then they go home. They are not there to party or look for a date. Think of it this way: If you worked at a Chinese restaurant six days a week would you want to go eat Chinese on your one day off? No? I think you get my point.

The rules of clubs vary state to state but most clubs nowadays allow women in for free if they come with a male escort. Most clubs serve food and alcohol, although full nude clubs allow patrons to bring their own beer in some places (due to not being able to hold a restaurant license because of health regulations).

Different clubs are different. You can get all different types of dances depending on the club you choose. This can range from your regular table dance to couch dances, private dances, Jacuzzi dances and even champagne rooms. Whether physical contact is allowed depends on the local laws and regulations.

Dancers in most states are considered independent contractors. A dancer pays a house fee every night to work, which is basically a rental fee paid to the club to use their stage and facilities to do her job. So, all of her money is made in tips and a percentage of the dances that she does. I'm telling you this because I think it's important that you understand that these ladies are working it because tips are how they make their living!

If in doubt, don’t be afraid to grab a bouncer or your bartender and ask any questions you may have.

Before You Go: Setting Boundaries

Before you even think about going to a club you should sit down with your man and set some boundaries. Going to the strip club without setting boundaries will usually end badly. As a dancer, I spent many nights talking to a regular female customer who came into the club with her husband, trying to keep her from having an emotional meltdown. She was uncomfortable being in the club and watching her husband drool over young women and it had taken a serious toll on her self esteem. This made me feel extremely sorry for her - and a sorry dancer is a sorry night. This couple needed to talk!

Aside from the problems she had with her husband, this lady was actually a pleasure to be around. That said, there are some female customers who will end up making every dancer in the house want to strangle her. A lady like this is usually one who comes with her man - but only to make sure he doesn’t do anything wrong. As a result, she ends up being catty and rude to the dancers. The problem is, the club isn't the time or the place to do all that. Ladies, if going to a strip club is something you are absolutely against and you know with 100 percent certainty that you will not enjoy it, don’t go. Please.

If you decide to go, sit down with your man and talk out everything first, from how much contact you’re both comfortable with to how much money you’re willing to drop. You should be able to talk these things out as a couple. Plus, it’s healthy, and sexy to tell each other what you want.

Strip Club Do's

• Do get to know a dancer
  Seriously. Sit down with her and have a real conversation. She might surprise you and make you look at dancers a little differently. And chances are, that'll make everyone a little more comfortable. Just remember to tip her for her time.
• Do sit at the stage
  This is a fairly safe (and less expensive) way to have fun. Tip a dollar or two to each dancer as she comes by and get a good show. It’s out in the open so there’s only so much contact allowed - if any at all - and it’s not as expensive as dropping money on one dancer for a lap dance.
• Do order some food
  Some of the best food I’ve eaten has been in a gentlemen’s club.
• Do purchase a champagne room
  If you have the money to spend and you’ve found a dancer that you really like and would like to spend more time with, this is the perfect way to do it. It’s the most relaxed way to enjoy a dance. Just sit back on a comfy couch, sip champagne and have some great conversation - and entertainment.

Strip Club Don’ts

• Don’t compromise your convictions
  If you don’t want to go then don’t go. You’ll just be uncomfortable - and you'll make everyone else uncomfortable as well.
• Don’t sit at the stage and not tip
  In terms of strip club etiquette, this is considered rude.
• Don’t get sloppy drunk
  This seems like common sense, but I’ve seen way too many drunken girls hop on the stage and end up getting kicked out. Save the stage for the professionals!

I think that sharing this experience with your man can be very fun and erotic - I've even seen it happen. And ladies, you might even make a new friend - one with really great shoes you can borrow. Just remember that the point of going to a gentleman's club with your man is to explore new things. So talk about it beforehand, stay firm on what's important to you, and then let loose and try to have some fun. Oh, and one more thing: Don’t knock it 'til you try it.

Have you been to a gentleman's club? Tell us what you think.