The world of sex and sex toys can be a frustrating experience when you're plus-size - especially when you get into the world of kink and fetishism. Not only is your body rarely represented in the pornography or images of those kinks, but some of the products and toys may not be made to work with your body either. Certain communities will even insist that you can't participate in certain kinks because of your weight! I know I've gotten giddy over the look of a new strap-on harness - only to flip the packaging over and see that it only fits a body of up to 42" inches in hip size. Even at my smallest, I'd never be able to fit that harness!
The good news is most sex acts and kink activities work just fine for bigger bodies. Working within your own body's limitations, you can enjoy pleasure and activities just as easily as a smaller-bodied person. Since larger bodies aren't often displayed in porn and may not be as readily discussed as smaller bodies, however, it might take a bit of experimentation to figure out the best way to enjoy various activities in a way that feels good for you. Here we'll take a look at pegging when you're plus-size. It has its challenges, but it's also full of fun and pleasure, no matter your size.
- Pegging When Plus-Size
- Use Sex Furniture and Props
- Use Sex Position Aids
- Consider a Longer Dildo
- Research Plus-Sized Sex Positions
- Be Up-Front About Your Limitations
- Switch Off as the Active Partner
- Look at Customizable Harnesses
- Consider a Rope-Tied Strap-On Harness
- Look at Non-Hip Harnesses
- Check Out Plus-Size "Straight" Sex Tips
Pegging is one of those activities. Just like some yoga poses may require modification for larger bodies, some sex positions may require some modifications to comfortably fit your body. You'll likely have to hunt for specialized harnesses to fit you, and you may need to spend more time experimenting with pegging sex positions to find good ones that work for both you and your partner. While playing as a plus-sized body in other kinks is best left up to the advice of other articles, here are some tips for enjoying a fun pegging scene when you or your partner (or both!) have bigger bodies. As many plus-size sex guides will recommend, sex furniture and props can make a huge difference in accessibility for larger bodies. Elevating the hips in missionary position with a plus-size receptive partner can help move the stomach and make the genitals more accessible. If the receptive partner has issue supporting body-weight in doggy-style, laying on top of a piece of sex furniture can make a huge difference. Similar sex positions can be "improved" with the use of sex furniture and sex shapes. In a pinch, try using a stack of firm pillows - but you'll be amazed by how much easier sex-specific props are. Bodies, especially larger bodies, have a tendency to “compress” pillows too easily. Props designed specifically to support body weight may be an amazing investment for you.
Sex position aids exist, and if they'll improve your pegging experience, there's no reason not to use them. If partner-on-top is difficult on the top person's knees and legs, consider a sex stool to alleviate some of the weight. If the receptive partner has difficulty holding their legs in the air during missionary position, consider a behind-the-neck sex sling that holds the thighs or ankles in the air by anchoring them to the neck. If the penetrating partner has issues getting leverage during doggy style for good thrusting, consider a doggy style support sling. If your knees have issues being on the hard floor without any padding, just add some pillows or blankets under the knees. There's no reason to find yourself focused on the struggle of trying to tolerate a position when you could just be enjoying yourself. Use the sex aids out there to make that happen. I don't know about you, but when I'm strapping on a dildo, I want to look like I'm particularly “well-hung”. However, with my larger stomach and thighs, most "average"-sized" dildos look relatively small on me. Well, screw that. If I have the ability to switch out my dildo as I please, I'm going to make sure it makes me feel confident and well-endowed. Larger bodies may also reduce the "length" of your strapped-on toy - as your thighs and stomach may stop the dildo from being fully inserted to the base. For that reason, I recommend that plus-size dildo wearers (especially those who are pegging another plus-sized partner) check out longer dildos instead of average-length dildos. Of course, this is a matter of personal preference and experimentation, but you might find that your dildo slips out less and has less logistical penetration problems when the toy is longer. Check out Blush Novelties' amaaaazing collection of harness-compatible dildos here.
Along with sex furniture and props, finding sex positions specifically crafted for plus-size bodies can make a huge difference. Even if you don't find anal sex positions, sex positions with plus-size people in mind will give you more ideas and inspiration on how to fit your bodies together. There's no reason to put yourself through sex positions and sex activities that hurt you - or are difficult for you to do. Be up-front about your limitations. You don't necessarily have to tell your pegging partner every bit of information, but if you know doggy-style on your knees will hurt your knees, say you prefer to do a different position. If you know it will be hard for you to slowly support the entirety of your weight in a missionary position when using a huge dildo that will take your partner 10 minutes to adjust to, suggest that your partner start on top during the slow adjustment period. There are more than enough sex positions out there that you can explore, so there's no reason to tolerate the shitty ones for your body.
If your cardio and activity level isn't up to a 20-minute sex marathon, there's no reason that you need to be the active partner the entire time. You can switch off with the receptive partner as the active partner. They can ride on top, or during many sex positions, they can "fuck" themselves on your dildo while you're able to stay stationary. There's no reason you need to be the only person exerting energy during your pegging. If it works within your dynamic, use a collar and leash and “force” them to ride you – adding a different level of excitement to any pegging scene. If you carry your weight in a unique way or find that mass-produced harnesses aren't fitting your body, you might consider purchasing a customized strap-on harness. Quite a few leather makers on Etsy will tailor-make a strap-on harness right to your specific measurements. These will be more pricey than the mass-produced alternatives, but you'll end up with a harness that fits your body well - and helps you feel more confident and sexy. If you don't like the idea of purchasing a customized harness or are on a limited budget, there's no reason you can't use bondage rope to make a rope harness that holds a dildo against your body. There are lots of tutorials online about how to tie a strap-on rope harness onto your body. These harnesses are not limited by anything other than the length of your rope. If you need a larger harness, just go get more rope! A rope-tied strap-on harness can be one of the cheapest ways to experience strap-on sex when you need a specialized size - but it will require re-tying the rope harness every time you'd like to play with pegging.
Depending on your flexibility and your activity level, you might find that pegging from the hips feels uncomfortable or unpleasant. There's no reason that your strap-on sex needs to be limited to hip-bound harnesses. In fact, there are lots of alternative harnesses out there to look into! Using a thigh strap-on harness means your partner can ride your thigh while you're able to sit back and relax. A chest strap-on harness might be positioned in a better place for your movement. Some strap-on harnesses sit really high on the abdomen - near the stomach - for better accessibility to the dildo and visibility of what's going on. Just because pegging is "typically" shown using hip harnesses doesn't mean it's your only option! Pegging is just anal sex with the stereotypical "gender roles" reversed. That means that a lot of sex tips meant for heterosexual plus-sized intercourse and anal sex plus-size intercourse will work just fine for you as well. Some of these guides offer a lot of sex positions to try as well as good ways to make sure the two of you are having a good time. Don't just rely on this guide for tips; there are lots of awesome suggestions out there to increase the fun of your pegging session!
- Pegging When Plus-Size
- Use Sex Furniture and Props
- Use Sex Position Aids
- Consider a Longer Dildo
- Research Plus-Sized Sex Positions
- Be Up-Front About Your Limitations
- Switch Off as the Active Partner
- Look at Customizable Harnesses
- Consider a Rope-Tied Strap-On Harness
- Look at Non-Hip Harnesses
- Check Out Plus-Size "Straight" Sex Tips
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
