If you're like many couples, your kink life and sex life are intertwined. Your bondage flows freely into some passionate, hot sex or your hot spanking scene flows fluidly into some wand massager play and powerful orgasms.
These BDSM punishments serve as great jumping-off points for sexual play. But they're not prescriptive! Everything about kink and sex is customizable; find what works best for you and have an amazing time doing it.
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(That's not to say it has to! Especially in the kink community, it's common to enjoy the magic of BDSM and kink without a lick of sexual activity. And that's totally awesome too!)
But if you're like most couples, you likely enjoy mixing the two. You don't have to stick with your tried-and-true scenes, though. In fact, there are hundreds (upon thousands!) of ways to easily start with hot, kinky foreplay -- and then segue into delicious sexual play.
READ: 10 Foreplay Games to Add Some Heat to the Bedroom. The stereotypical "punishment" we all think about, spanking tends to be most couple's to-go for faux punishment scenarios. That's for a good reason! The physical sensations of spanking can feel fantastic (and are located near your erogenous zones!), and the positioning required for a spanking can make the bottom feel vulnerable and exposed.
Here are 10. We'll start with the classics and then extend into some kinkier options:
Plus, if you transition into sex, it's pretty easy to pull underwear to the side -- assuming the bottom is even wearing any at that point!
If you have a go-to spanking position, consider mixing it up. Over-the-knee spankings can be really hot for people -- especially as it requires the bottom partner to maintain their balance to stay on their top's knees. If you want to really draw out the sensations, let the top sit upright against the bed's headboard and allow the bottom partner to lay out at 90 degrees on the top's lap. This makes for an ultra-supported position that will allow you both to go for a long time.
Or, get a bit more creative: Mix your "punishment" with pleasure from the get-go! Consider a hands-free sex toy like the Lovense Lush 3, Lovense Ferri, Lovense Gush, or b-Vibe Vibrating Snug Plug to hit multiple erogenous zones during the spanking. Butt plugs can be especially fun as every spank will wiggle the plug inside of the body!
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The second-most-explored punishment, bondage is an accessible (and fun!) way for couples to explore the world of kink.
Have you been so bad that you don't get to touch your partner? Well, that's what a quick binding of the wrists with some cuffs can achieve. And it can be hot! It's no wonder that this often transitions into passionate sex afterwards!
For a bit of added fun, you can make the "transition" as minimal as possible and leave the bound partner still in their bondage during sex. The Under the Bed Restraint System leaves the bound partner, by default, in a spread-eagle position that can work great for intercourse with no modifications needed.
Any classic bondage sex positions can work great for co-mingling your bondage punishment with some sexual play, though. You can take bondage even further by planning on some predicament bondage. This takes a lot more forethought than your standard bondage scene, but depending on what you're going for, this can be hot as hell to watch -- and to experience.
Predicament bondage is bondage that presents a predicament. (No kidding, right?) In reality, this often looks like forcing the bound person to choose between two options. Usually choosing one option requires them to place themselves in physical discomfort (like holding a squat or having their hair pulled by rope) in order to avoid/receive a second option.
For a simple scenario, imagine this:
You place a wand massager into a sturdy wand massager holder five inches (or more, depending on their height!) below their genitals. You attach nipple clamps with rope to an overhead point with minimal slack on the line. Now, if the bound person wants to experience the orgasmic stimulation of the wand massager, they must squat down to place their spots onto the wand massager. If they do that, however, the nipple clamps will be pulled taut -- and their quads are really, really going to be quaking to hold that position!
If you're going for a punishment vibe, you can also make your partner choose between two bad sensations -- like nipple clamps that will tighten if the bound partner relaxes onto flat feet and an extremely tight, wedgie-inducing rope that pulls upwards if they aren't on their tippy toes.
Either way, you get to watch your partner make difficult choices -- including placing themselves in pain just for the chance of some arousing stimulation. Hot!
Predicament bondage can require a bit of forethought to make it happen, but especially with the choice of pleasure, it can really get you both in the mood to move right into sex afterwards. Just make sure to be cognizant of what muscles you've already worked to death because certain sex positions might be off the menu afterwards!
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Pick a few household chores that need doing and make the partner being punished do them naked, in bondage or in lingerie. To really pull this off, the top must "supervise" and make sure all the chores are done to their satisfaction. This might even include commanding the "punished" partner to do the chores in a more visually satisfying manner: "Just bend down a littttttle more."
Just make sure to be aware of what chores they're doing and what they're wearing. Light, easy chores are best for this -- like wiping down counters. A deep cleansing that requires moving the refrigerator is probably going to be sweat-inducing in an entirely unsexy way. Ensure the bottom isn't cleaning with bleach or staining chemicals if pulling this off in lingerie; no one wants to ruin their expensive favorites.
READ: 6 Orders for a Submissive That Have Nothing to Do With Sex. Have you ever had a human table before?
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If not, what are you waiting for? Perfect as a punishment, one partner can be "forced" to get onto their hands and knees and become a "table" for the other partner. This can even be a good fit for a riding crop where the non-table partner can give a slight spank to the "table" each time it moves. For your next punishment, tell your submissive partner they're making dinner tonight. Too simple? Well, OK, let's add nipple clamps with bells and a supervisor with a riding crop who is going to spank the cook each time they make any noise with those bells. (Feel free to move the clamps to other parts, like the testicles, if that's a better fit for you!)
If you want a real challenge, consider placing a bowl of something easy to clean up on top of your table and see if they can keep it balanced and without toppling. (Do be prepared to clean this up, though, just in case. Most people's backs aren't entirely flat, and most of us aren't used to staying completely still.)
Don't forget that tables need maintenance too. Maybe it would stop being so squirrly if it had all of the energy drained from it -- like if you get down on your hands and knees and use some of their favorite sex toys on them. Remind them tables don't talk either! (But definitely have a non-verbal safeword in mind.)
You can easily see how this transitions from "hot punishment" to "hot sex." Just make sure to be cognizant of the table's knees; this can be a hard position to maintain for a long time. Lucky for you, there are lots of pieces of human furniture you could really use -- like a coat rack or a lamp.
Now the top can supervise the entire meal -- and enjoy the view -- while dinner will be made for them. It's the best of both worlds!
Just be careful near the oven! Let any tingling slide when dealing with anything hot and dangerous -- and choose a simple recipe if you actually want your food to taste good. Turns out erotic play can be a bit distracting!
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Sex furniture is amazing, but sex furniture with bondage potential? That sounds a whole lot like a great way to transition between kinky fun, bondage and sex.
Luckily for us, bondage sex furniture already exists -- and we don't have to reinvent the wheel or invest in a full sex dungeon. Equipping sex furniture with bondage points gives you the flexibility of using it as sex furniture or adding some bondage that can last throughout your entire session. There's no need to "transition" between your kink activity and sex activity; you can mix the two!
Not only does sex furniture provide a more convenient, easy way to enjoy better angles and more comfortable sex, but you can optionally add in bondage whenever you want too. It's a bit like a two-in-one piece of furniture for your home.
READ: 14 Must-Have Pieces for Building a Sex Room.
A lot of couples like to start with the Liberator Black Label Wedge (as Liberator's iconic, best-selling sex shape that makes g-spot and p-spot pleasure accessible during intercourse!). If you want to branch out, though, there's also the Liberator Obeir, Liberator Talea, Liberator Black Label Hipster, Liberator Bondi, and Liberator Black Label Esse Chaise.
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Have you heard of Nuru Massage? Think of it like a cross between naked wrestling, Jell-O wrestling and a full-body massage. By getting naked and covering yourself and your partner(s) in super-slippery lubricant, you're able to slip and slide against each other.
While Nuru Massage focuses on laying on top of one another and using your body parts to massage each other, you don't have to stick with the technical definition.
This can be a fun way to try wrestling with one another that's going to end up in tons of laughter and giggles. You can also take a serious route with the dominant partner trying to "win and subdue" the partner who needs to be punished. It can also be a really fun way to experiment with sensations: Fingernail scratches feel a bit lighter with the lubrication involved, and deep-tissue massage can get downright punishing.
If you want to segue to intercourse afterwards and there's a vagina involved, use baby wipes to cleanse the external area and switch to an intercourse-safe, water-based lube. Most Nuru Massage gels aren't made for vaginal use.
READ: 7 Ways to Use Lube (Including CBD Lube) for the Best Masturbation Ever.
My biggest suggestion, though? Make sure you have a safe place that's easy to clean for your Nuru Massage! A Nuru Massage Mat is probably your best bet, but if you have a large, empty swimming pool or want to try to DIY your own out of a plastic tarp, that can work too! You might think of tickling as a fun, light-hearted activity, but if you take it to the extreme, it can be an erotic punishment a lot of couples like. The term "tickle torture" even exists to describe this no-holds-barred tickling punishment. READ: Mastering the Sensual Basics. If you haven't played with electro-sex, the sensations can vary from "adorably tickly" to "holy shit, ow!" with wide variance in the middle. Even if the sensations are on the "adorably tickly" end, though, the buzzing sound of electricity up against your naked body can instantly make this a punishment to remember. READ: I Want to Try Electrosex. Where Should I Start? The world of kink and sex is your oyster! If your idea of a "kinky punishment" is forcing your misbehaving submissive to give you head scratches until their fingers are tired, have at it! If that punishment gets you rarin' for more, enjoy yourselves! Read How to Make a BDSM Contract for tips on how to negotiate.
While tickling leaves you both out of breath and smiling, it also has a lot of skin-on-skin contact. The top is are, after all, using their hands on the bottom's body to elicit a reaction. Sounds like a lot of sex, right?
And if you tone down the intensity of the tickling to soft, gentle brushing of the fingers, tickling can feel a whole lot like sensual touch. In fact, the line between sensual touch and tickling can occasionally feel pretty small.
So it's no surprise that erotic tickling can regularly lend itself well to sliding into some erotic fun. Just make sure to keep your safer sex supplies and lube nearby for your next tickle session!
Choose an easy-to-use electro-sex toy like the Neon Wand. Without electrodes to worry about, it's pretty much a plug-and-play option for electro-sex beginners. With the toy on its lightest setting, it can easily be dragged along the skin to bring your punished partner's attention directly to the area you want. You can also use it to (gently!) poke and prod your partner -- which can go a long way for any type of humiliation fun!
If you really want to upgrade your erotic punishments, some of the accessories -- like the Power Tripper, ElectroWhip, Flex Capacitor or Thunderclap -- will allow you to give a spanking that is (quite literally) electrified.
Remember: Everything about kink and sex is customizable. Find what works best for you and have an amazing time doing it. You are your own unique people in your own unique relationship. Honor that by doing awesome things you and your partner(s) are excited about.
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Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
